


Sometimes Things Never Change

by somniloquist



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou Friendship, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou & Tsukishima Kei - Freeform, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou Friendship, Bokuto Koutarou Being Bokuto Koutarou, Cancer, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Karasuno, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Nishinoya Yuu & Tanaka Ryuunosuke are Bros, Sad Tsukishima Kei, Sick Tsukishima Kei, Sleepovers, Tanaka Ryuunosuke is a Good Friend, Team Bonding, let’s see how many chapters i can write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27020206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somniloquist/pseuds/somniloquist
Summary: Tsukishima Kei is sick. Very sick. The idea of change is heavy in the air, and everyone is doing whatever they can to prevent things from going downhill.A collection of stories of Tsukishima's teammates and friends going to visit him while he's ill. Including a wide variety of topics: fluff, angst, character arcs... Prepare yourselves.
Comments: 25
Kudos: 63





	1. Normal

**Author's Note:**

> Cliché fic time. Enjoy B)
> 
> Please note that the fist couple chapter's aren't very Tsukishima-centric, but as the story goes on, you will see more and more of him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kageyama finally puts his act together and decides to visit his sick teammate in the hospital.

“This is dumb, Hinata.”

Hinata frowned, gazing down upon the papers being thrusted into his chest.

“How is it dumb?” Hinata asked Kageyema, who sat beside him in the team van. “I was really sad when I was writing it, so I thought it was good.”

Kageyama stared at him, patience lingering on by a thread. “You can’t start the story when the cat is already sick.”

Hinata cocked his head. “Why not?”

“Because,” Kageyama said. “That’s not how it works. It’s important to know the stuff that happened before, don’t you think?” he demanded.

“It’s not that important.”

Hinata and Kageyama turned their heads towards the speaker. Yamaguchi stared back at them from a single seat across the aisle. 

“Sometimes the most important stuff happens after the diagnoses,” he said with a shrug.

When neither responded, Yamaguchi looked back out the window, leaving Kageyama and Hinata in their silence. Finally, Kageyama let out a grunt and let Hinata take back his school project. 

Hinata sighed, reading over his paper again.

The two probably would have gone at each other if it weren’t for Yamaguchi’s input. It wasn’t just his words that shut them up, but the intense meaning behind them. Too serious to arouse any sarcasticness or annoyance between them.

“I still think it’s good,” Hinata muttered.

Kageyama glanced at him dismissively. “I guess.”

The van was quiet. This wasn’t unusual. Trips home were soporific due to the physical and emotional exhaustion caused by the constant activity during games. Even though it was only two pm, they’d played two practice games today, and they were tired. Kageyama rested his head against the back cushion, feeling the dull vibration of the road underneath them. Visions of today’s game and schoolwork began to project onto his daydreams. His daze was soon interrupted by Hinata.

“You coming today?” he asked. “My mom can give you a ride. It’s okay.”

“Not today,” Kageyama replied as he rolled his head against the seat.

Hinata stared at him with a pleading expression which provoked eye-contact from Kageyama. “You haven’t gone since we all went in the beginning. People are going to think you’re a jerk if you never show up,” Hinata said matter-of-factly. “Especially Tsukishima,” he added in a hushed voice.

Kageyama narrowed his eyes. “I really don’t think Tsukishima cares very much. I’m sure it would be best for the both of us if I don’t come.” His voice was bitter and cold, but Hinata could tell the bitterness was clearly a mask for something else, so he persisted.

“You have to come, Kageyama,” Hinata pressed. “It’s all awkward coming by myself all the time.”

Kageyama just hummed, placing an earphone in the ear closest to Hinata. “You’ll survive.”

Hinata’s face went hot with frustration. “But--”

“Hinata--”

He paused, averting his eyes towards Yamaguchi who was smiling sympathetically at him.

“It’s alright, really,” Yamaguchi assured, holding out a palm. “You can ride with me if you want to. I just have to let my mom know.”

Hinata warily smiled back at him. “Oh-- um. Thank you. I’ll let you know what my mom says.”

Darn it. This was not his goal here. He really did want Kageyama to come, whether it was with him or not. His teammates would always ask where Kageyama was, and Hinata never knew how to answer. Plus he knew Kageyama was needed there. Not for any specific reason, but he could feel it.

Feeling defeated, Hinata pulled his phone from his pocket and opened it. He’d try to get Kageyama another day, he supposed.

“Wait.”

Hinata immediately stopped in his tracks and looked at Kageyama.

“I don’t really have anything else to do.” His voice was hesitant, but it didn’t bother Hinata at all. He was happy to hear his friend wanted to come. “I guess I will go. Only for a bit, maybe,” he said before gazing away and putting in the opposite earphone. “Tell your mom I said thanks for the ride.”

Hinata’s lips pulled up contently. He hoped Kageyama wouldn’t end up regretting this for some reason. His company was needed. “Okay.”  
  
  


“Thank you,” Kageyama said as he exited the car.

“Bye, mom.” Hinata gave his mother a quick hug before following Kageyama out. The two waved at Yachi and Kiyoko as they exited the doors. They would have got here sooner if they hadn’t stopped for a quick snack, but it was no big deal.

Hinata-san called after them through an open window. “I’ll be doing errands nearby, so just call me when you want to be picked up.”

Hinata looked over his shoulder to shoot a grin at his mother. “Okay!”

The two weren’t very far behind Tanaka, who could easily be seen behind the glass door. Noticing him, Hinata grabbed onto Kageyama’s upper arm and began to jog.

This gesture had frightened him. It was so sudden, and Kagayema hadn’t been ready for any movement like that.

As much as he hated to admit it, Kageyama had a decent amount of hospital anxiety. He already disliked that Hinata had somehow dragged him into going after rejecting his begs for the past month, and now he had to actually deal with coming here.

Hinata led him through the lobby and to the front desk where he began to check in. The receptionist and Hinata’s voices quickly began to blur as Kageyama addressed his surroundings.

Blech. Such a dull place filled with dull people. How could anyone work in a place like this?

“Did you hear that, Kageyama?” Hinata whispered.

Kageyama blinked. Was he supposed to be paying attention? “Huh?”

There was a second nurse-lady-person behind the secretary who was speaking now. “He’s not feeling very well today. We advise only known visitors come in for now.”

Seriously.

“I’m sorry,” the lady continued in a soothing tone-- which didn’t phase Kageyama at all. “Maybe there will be better chance tomorrow.” She smiled at him.

“Right,” Kageyama replied. He was resisting the urge to look at Hinata, who was staring at him with a big, stupid sad expression. Whatever. No big deal anyway.

The secretary handed Hinata a visitor sticker as Kageyama headed for the outside doors.

“Hey! er, _hey!_ ” Hinata called in a quieter voice as he raced after Kageyama.

Kageyama paused and turned around a few feet away from the door. He looked at Hinata, awaiting his next words.

“Don’t leave so fast,” Hinata insisted. “Yamaguchi comes here a lot, we can tell him to speak for you.”

“That would be bothersome. I didn’t come here to cause any trouble,” Kageyama muttered, readying himself to walk off again. “It’s okay, really, Hinata. I can wait for you.

“But you’re here now!” Hinata said. A certain spark that had lit in his eyes when Kageyama had first agreed had blown out now. It was obvious by Hinata’s slumped posture that he was disappointed and upset with his teammate’s response. 

Kageyama wanted a way out of this. He had agreed to come, but now he regretted it. He didn’t like being here. He wanted to practice his serves in the gymnasium where he didn’t have to think about sad and sick people, and where he didn’t have to talk to people who were sad and sick. Volleyball was better to think about. More fun, more interesting and charismatic. 

“I can come some other day. They say he doesn’t feel well so I don’t want to cause any more stress,” Kageyama said as he stepped towards the door. “Have fun, or uh- hope it goes nicely.” And with that, he turned his back and headed towards the door.

“You’re scared.”

Kageyama whipped his head around. “What?”

“That’s why you don’t want to try to see Tsukishima. Because you’re scared.”

Annoying. So annoying and irritating Hinata was. Why was he looking at him like his mother when he failed his English test last week? There was nothing to be surprised or upset about. He had said ‘yes’ to coming hadn’t he?

Kageyama scoffed. “I’m not scared. I’m doing a favor for Tsukishima and everyone else,” he said firmly.

“Lame.” Hinata shook his head. “You’re not even trying!” he cried just loud enough so he wouldn’t disturb the others around them.

Kageyama was about to retort until he was forced aside by Suga and Asahi who walked in together.

“Oh! Kageyama, it’s nice to see you here,” Suga greeted happily. Asahi seemed surprised to see him too. 

Kageyama just shrugged. “Thanks, but they won’t let me in today. It’s okay, really.”

“Is Daichi not here today?” Hinata asked, noticing a missing person from the group.

Suga seemed distracted by Kageyama’s reply, but he answered anyway. “He had some things to take care of at home. It might be us today. The second-years have a lot of homework this time of year.”

“ I saw Tanaka here. He’s already with Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, I think.”

Suga hummed, keeping a questioning gaze on Kageyama. “You said they won’t let you in. Why not?” he asked.

“Guess Tsukishima isn’t feeling good… or something,” Kageyama said, shoving his hands into his track pants pocket.

“Yeah,” Hinata followed. “I wanted him to see if Yamaguchi would tell the nurses to let him in but he said that it was _too bothersome.”_ He crossed his arms and glared at Kageyama who looked back at him with shared irritation.

“That should be okay, right?” Asahi asked Suga who glanced at each of them with a mixed expression.

“Well…”

Hinata’s face tightened. Obviously he was not happy with how he was responding.

“I’d say it’s up to Tsukishima, don’t you think? Although I’d hate to bombard him with such a question when he’s not feeling well...” he trailed off.

 _Good,_ Kageyama thought. He’d be more calm if Tsukishima was feeling better. How awful would it be if the first time he’d shown up since Tsukishima was first diagnosed was just under a month later, on a day that he was feeling worse? Very awful.

“Hm.” Suga perked up at a new thought. “How about this:” he placed a hand on Kageyama’s shoulder, “I can go in for a bit and see how he’s doing. I’ll judge from there and see if his mood is good enough for another visitor,” he offered, lips turned into his classic parental-type grin.

Kageyama bit his tongue. He couldn't say no to Sugawara. “Okay,” he said, giving a quick side-eye to Hinata who was smiling brightly. _Stupid. Don’t celebrate too early._

Suga and Asahi made their way to the check in desk while Kageyama began to move again.

“Where are you going? We will probably end up having to go in together, so don’t leave,” Hinata said.

“Right,” he said without turning back. “I gotta get some fresh air.”

“O--kay.”

He shoved open the door and took a deep breath when the (mostly) fresh air hit his nose. This was good. No weird rubbery and stinging scents of the hospital. Peace. Temporary, that is, but good enough for now.

How would he approach Tsukishima if he got let in? _“Hello.” “How are you?”_ So boring and basic. Surely Tsukishima would be unhappy to see him after not seeing or hearing from him after all this time. If he ran away now, maybe he could make it out of sight before Hinata or one of the others came looking for him.

Kageyama flinched as the door squeaked behind him. Hinata’s orange mop was peeking from around the glass door. “Come inside. Tanaka said that Yamaguchi told him that having people come in one at a time would be better.”

Now what? 

“Well, since I’m not going in now, I’ll just stay out here and wait.”

Hinata scowled and swiped Kageyama by his shirt sleeve, practically dragging him inside like a full trash bag. “Just come,” he said.

Kageyama struggled for the first few seconds, but then let Hinata guide him. He suddenly realized that running off was only going to make Tsukishima dislike him more, which certainly was not his goal. 

Suga’s mouth fell agape when seeing the sight of the chaotic duo walking in. “Oh, Hinata,” he sighed as he approached the two, chuckling lightly. “Kageyama doesn’t have to go in today if he doesn’t want to.”

Hinata let go of Kageyama’s shirt. “He wants to, I can tell. Even if he says he doesn’t want to, I believe he does,” he responded, speaking with strange diligence. 

“Alright,” Suga said, straightening up. “If you feel uncomfortable, don’t pressure yourself into doing anything, okay? That’s not why we’re here,” he assured Kageyama gently.

Well, great. When it’s put like that, now Kageyama _had_ to try and take a visit.

“Right,” he said.

Hinata looked around. “Did Asahi leave?” he asked, wondering where his senpai had gone.

Suga nodded. “He’s seeing Tsukishima right now. Yamaguchi decided to stay in the room with him while we visited, which must be nice. Tsukishima is always less on-edge when he or Akiteru-san is around.” He smiled at the kind thought.

“That’s nice,” Hinata agreed. “So that means Kageyama can go see him then, right?” he asked, bouncing lightly on his feet with anitipcation.

Tanaka joined the group, handing Suga and Hinata two water bottles. He raised his eyebrows at Kageyama, clearly surprised that he was here too. “Sorry Kageyama. Didn’t know you were coming today.” He smiled apologetically. “So what’s this I hear? Is Kageyama planning to see Tsukishima?” He looked almost as happy as Hinata.

“Yeah, but they won’t let him in,” Hinata said.

Tanaka suppressed a laugh which sent a wave of irritation over Kageyama. “How come?”

Suga waved his hand to dismiss Tanaka’s thoughts. “Not for any malicious reason. They think it’s best that only known visitors see him at the moment,” he explained. 

Tanaka nodded. “I get it. I was just in there and it looked like he needed some rest.” He looked over at Kageyama and shrugged. “You can try again in a couple of days, though. It’s nice to see you here,” he said, reaching across the small gathering to pat his _kouhai_ on the shoulder.

“Don’t worry, Kageyama,” Suga said. “I made the decision to stay out today for Tsukishima’s sake, so don’t feel left out.”

“Okay.” 

Something inside Kageyama sank. He didn’t know what that feeling meant or why it was causing him to frown rather than scowl or grimace. He no longer felt annoyed. Now he felt guilty, and for a reason he couldn’t pinpoint. He sorta, kinda, maybe wanted to check in on Tsukishima now.

Kageyeama’s eyes trailed towards a faint ripping sound behind him.

Hinata was slowly tearing his visitor's sticker off his shirt. In a split moment, he took the sticker and clasped it onto Kageyama’s chest. He watched Hinata, dazed by the sudden action he’d just committed. 

“Now you have a visitor’s pass,” Hinata whispered, glancing back and forth around the lobby as if he’d just committed a heinous crime.

Kageyeama looked down at his chest and picked at the sticker. “It says your name on it, dumbass,” he grumbled.

Hinata snatched Kageyama’s hand, stopping him from taking off the sticker. “So? Do people here really remember the names of all the visitors that come in every day?” he countered.

Kageyama looked at Tanaka and Suga for help, but was met with none at all.

Tanaka glanced over his shoulder where the secretary was distracted by some paperwork. He looked back at the group. “He has a point, Kageyama,” Tanaka said, shrugging.

Suga hummed in agreement. “That’s true. I suppose it won’t be much of an issue. And, I think you’ll be good now that Yamaguchi is in there with you,” he added with a smile.

Kageyama didn’t have anything in him to insult Hinata for such a smart move. He was actually beginning to go along with Hinata’s schemes now.

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Kageyama stated, dropping his hand back at his waist. “I’ll be ready when Asahi comes back, I think…” 

“Okay,” Suga said, stepping out of the group with Tanaka. Once again, Hinata was grinning from ear to ear. Why was this making him so happy?

“Well,” Tanaka began as he moved towards the door. “I’d stay but ya boy has got work to do. See you guys later.” He waved, then strode out of the room.

The other three went to grab seats around the lobby, settling on a short bench in the center of the room and Suga sitting in a chair across from the bench.

Kageyama stared at the floor, letting countless scenarios and thoughts flood his head while he worked out a way to greet Tsukishima. He was probably going to say something sarcastic, and Kageyama would need a good way to reply. You can’t say anything mean to a sick kid, right? Or is that being too careful?

Suga lightly cleared his throat to grab Kageyama’s attention. “Don’t overthink this, Kageyama,” he chuckled empathetically. “You’re going to fry your brain before you even get a chance to speak.”

“Sorry,” he sighed, lifting his head up. Sugawara was right. Like always. How was he so smart?

“Whether you believe it or not, Tsukishima will appreciate your presence,” he assured.

Kageyama’s shoulders tensed. He was most doubtful about that, but he wanted to believe Suga, so he nodded. “Right.”

“And,” Hinata piped in, “if you think Tsukishima is going to be all weird, then don’t. He still teases me all the time. Just be normal,” he encouraged, offering an excited smile to his friend.

“Normal…” he echoed softly. “Okay.”

Normal has got to be one of the most pointless words in existence. What was _normal_ at a time like this? What met the requirements for normal and what didn’t? How should Kageyama react if Tsukishima wasn’t being normal? What a dumb, dumb word.

Kageyama scuffed his feet on the ground while he waited. Everyone was quiet, but the atmosphere was strangely upbeat. He’d expected his teammates to be sad or upset with him for waiting so long to return, but each of them were happy. Now _that_ wasn’t normal.

The three chatted lightly about volleyball for the time being, which eased Kageyama a bit. He even got to chew at Hinata for missing a few spikes during that morning’s games. 

Just before Kageyama got to calm down, the conversation was interrupted by Asahi entering the lobby from the far side of the room. He looked gloomy, and had come down sooner than Kageyama had expected him to.

Ashai joined the group, standing between the bench and Suga.

“How did it go?” Suga asked instantly.

Asahi sighed softly. “He looked tired. I felt bad for keeping him up so I ended up leaving early.” His expression perked up slightly. “But, he held a good conversation,” he added warmly.

“Did you tell him that I was here?” Kageyama asked unexpectedly. Hearing Ashai talk made Kageyama want to run away, but he’d already made the commitment to stay put. He had to be true to his final decision.

He shook his head. “No, sorry. Did you want me to? I wasn’t sure if you were coming so I--”

Poor Asahi always felt like he had to excuse himself. Kageyama interrupted him. “It’s okay. I don’t really care,” he said before shrugging his backpack off.

Asahi cocked his head. “You’re going?” he asked.

Kageyama nodded, handing his stuff to Hinata. He’d be going in empty-handed. He should have gotten a gift for Tsukishima… although he probably has enough at this point. Ugh. This was too weird. Not normal.

Kageyama pushed himself to his feet then looked at Asahi. “Where do I go?” he asked. Embarrassing. Tsukishima had been admitted as an inpatient for coming on one week, and Kageyama didn’t even know where to go.

Asahi discreetly pointed down the exit he’d just walked through. “The elevator is at the end. Second floor. Walk across the main area to the hallway opening. His room is near the middle. Number 206.”

Elevator. Second floor. Main area to hallway. 206. 

“Okay. I’ll be back, thanks,” Kageyama said as he walked off. He wanted to get this over with before intrusive thoughts sent him away.

“Bye!” Hinata called.

Kageyama sent him a wave before walking down the wide hall, shoulders broad and head up. He wasn’t about to walk around with a name tag that said _Hinata Shouyou_ and roam the halls like he had no right to. 

The elevator ride was short. Not long enough for Kageyama to process any more scenarios in his head. He stepped out into the second floor lobby.

_Just be normal._

Kageyama huffed before making his way across the room. He couldn’t believe he had made it this far. Imagine if this didn’t go well. How humiliating and foolish of him that would be.

_Don’t think. Don’t think. Normal. Normal._

Kageyama slowly strode down the well-lit, white and cyan hallway, watching each door for the number.

202… 204… 20...6.

Kageyama stopped right before the door. His hands and feet turned into ice.

The decorations on the door were irritating. Dino stickers and a white board under the peephole with _“Get well SOON!!! We miss our MVP. --Karasuno Boys Volleyball team”_ written across it. 

Disgusting. Someone else should have gotten sick. Some random old person across the world. Not Tsukishima.

But the truth was Tsukishima _was_ sick, and Kageyama had to-- no, _got the privilege to_ see him, and now he was second guessing. What was wrong with him?

Kageyama resisted his frozen body and took an extra step forward. Now he was directly in front of the door.

He shut his eyes and sucked in a breath.

_If this is normal, then good. If not, then so be it. I’m still going in._

Kageyeama raised his fist and brought it to the wood. He knocked twice then let his hand fall into his pocket.

He waited. And waited and waited.

Was he supposed to just walk in? That would be intrusive, wouldn’t it? Besides, Yamaguchi was in there already. Maybe Tsukishima found out he was here. 

He shouldn’t have come.

Kageyama grunted, starting to walk off until he heard the door click behind him.

“Sorry for making you wait,” Yamaguchi said, giving him a welcoming smile. He took a notice at Kageyama’s sticker. “Hinata,” he added, giggling faintly. Yamaguchi didn’t seem as surprised as the others, which made sense since he could have seen him through the peephole.

“They wouldn’t let me in so he gave me his pass,” Kageyama muttered. His mind was storming loudly in his head. _Just let me in._

Yamaguchi nodded, then opened the door wider for him to step inside.

Kageyama thanked him with a nod, then stepped inside while Yamaguchi closed the door behind him. He had to walk a few feet before finally getting a good view of Tsukishima.

It was difficult to hide his astonishment, but Kageyama managed to keep his usual stone face while observing Tsukishima. Why didn’t anyone tell him how _sickly_ he looked? Yeah, they saw him often, but had they really gotten used to seeing him look so pale? So pale that the rings under his eyes contrasted heavily against his skin? Kageyama hoped that the blue beanie upon his head was not to conceal any hair loss, or that the tubes spurting from his wrist and chest were harmless. This sight was not helping bring any sort of normalcy that Hinata had mentioned.

Tsukishima also looked astonished, despite his drooped and greyed-out expression. Neither of them couldn’t help but stare.

_Just be normal._

“Oi,” Kageyama greeted, awkwardly stepping up to the left side of the bed. Yamaguchi sat in a chair on the opposite side, watching Tsukishima for his reply.

“Kageyama.” His voice was lazy, and lacked any sort of sarcasm. It sounded like he was forcing himself to talk. “It’s been awhile, King.”

Normally the nickname would irritate Kageyama. Normally Kageyama would proclaim that he wasn’t King anymore, or how Tsukishima was a four-eyed prick and that lacked any human decency. Yet Kageyeama felt no anger. No venom. This was strange.

“Sorry,” he said. He searched his mind for something, anything to talk about. For the first time since he arrived here, he was drawing a blank. Kageyama had such a hard time relating to Tsukishima, especially now.

“Don’t worry about it. I didn’t expect a visit, so you being here is nice enough,” Tsukishima said weakly, gazing up at the tiled ceiling. 

Yamaguchi’s mouth fell. He hadn’t expected this out of him so soon in the interaction.

Kageyama’s throat twisted tightly at his words. The way Tsukishima spoke was genuine. No saltiness or condemning nature. Just a statement that was true. Way too true. 

He hated being depicted as narcissistic and thoughtless, even if Tsukishima hadn’t meant it in that way. He had to make things right. He could be caring. He _will_ be caring.

“I was being selfish,” Kageyama admitted out of thin air.

Tsukishima looked at Kageyama. He was frowning, but his eyes were wide with dismay. Yamaguchi wore a more lively version of the expression.

Kageyama sighed. When had this turned into therapy? “I thought coming to see you would make me too sad…” he said, bringing an awkward hand behind his head. 

Tsukishima’s gaze lowered, causing Kageyama to gnaw at the inside of his bottom lip. 

Was he being too honest? He wasn’t sure how to say nice things, but he continued on.

“And I thought since I waited too long, you would be mad if I came. Which is dumb. I should have come before anyway, so I’m sorry.”

Then he heard a short-lasting chuckle from Tsukishima. Kageyama blinked, anxiety beginning to bubble up inside again. Did he say something wrong? Damn, he blew it for sure.

Kageyama went silent, waiting for Tsukishima to scold him or tease him, but he only chuckled again. Yamaguchi looked just as confused as he did.

“What?” Kageyama asked, growing impatient.

Tsukishima rested his head back against the reclined bed, tilting his chin towards Kageyama who awaited his reply. “I just think it’s funny that you’re afraid of me.”

Kageyama was fairly irritated now. He shouldn’t have expected Tsukishima to accept his apology so soon. But at least the weirdness of the situation had melted away slightly.

Tsukishima went on. “I always appreciated the banter when I teased you. I like that you aren’t afraid to say something too mean. It makes being snarkier to you a lot more exhilarating,” he stated, sighing softly at the end of his sentence.

Kageyema was stumped by what Tsukishima had to say. He teased Kageyama because he appreciated him? How did that work, and why did it kind of make sense?

“Wait,” Yamaguchi said, looking at Tsukishima. “So by that logic, does that mean you’re afraid of Kageyama too?” He tilted his head, raising a thoughtful finger by his chin. “It sounds like you enjoy pestering him because you don’t know what he’s going to say next, which excites you.”

Tsukishima gazed at Kageyama as he processed Yamaguchi’s words. “I guess you can put it like that,” he replied casually.

Kageyama was speechless. Tsukishima afraid of _him?_ He had expected him to say something like “ _No, don’t be stupid, Yamaguchi”_ or even a simple _“Shut up”._ He raised his eyebrows at a sudden realization.

Him and Tsukishima were more alike than he thought!

“Don’t get too excited, Superstar,” Tsukishima mumbled sleepily, noticing Kageyama’s change in expression. “Doesn’t mean you’re safe from my sarcasm.” A small, but noticeable smirk tugged on his lips.

For some reason, Kageyama didn’t feel nervous anymore. Somehow, Tsukishima’s crude remark made him feel content. Somewhat… normal.

Something of a smile was wavering on Kageyama’s lips. 

“Yeah. You too, _me_ _gane_.”

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one! I adore Tsukishima's and Kageyama's friendship so so much. I apologize if there is any misuse of Japanese terms or how hospitals in Japan work.
> 
> Next chapters will have more of Tsukishima in it, don’t worry! This one was more individual-character focused than I thought it would be. 
> 
> Thanks for taking the time to read this. Much love!


	2. Best Senpais

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tanaka and Nishinoya struggle as they pick out the perfect gift for Tsukishima.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note about this story. For now, the future chapters I have planned are in chronological order, but if it isn't I will make a note about it and make it more obvious in the chapter!
> 
> This one is a more light-hearted one (sorry if you wanted more drama, haha... maybe I will make up for that in the next chapter...) starring your favorite senpais: Tanaka and Nishinoya!

Nishinoya strolled through the market, closely observing the shelves and the snacks that sat upon them. He pursed his lips as he thought intensely.

What did Tsukishima usually get when they would come here?

He wracked his brain for memories that could reveal the answer, but was left with vague visions of Tsukishima bickering with Hinata and Kageyama while sipping on his strawberry milk, which Tanaka was already fetching from the drink section.

“Oi, did you think of anything yet?” Tanaka asked, stepping beside Nishinoya from entering the aisle.

“Not really,” Nishinoya answered as he faced his buddy. He thought for a second longer before speaking again. “I think we should head back to the mall and get more fun stuff.”

“Huh? Why’s that?” Tanaka asked. “No one else brings him food. I think it would be nice for a change, don’t you think?”

“But I feel like bringing food to someone with stomach problems could come across as mean,” Nishinoya said, gazing back upon the snack shelves. “Besides, Tsukishima never really cared much for food.”

Tanaka grunted. “Maybe. I still don’t think it’s a bad idea though....”

Nishinoya and Tanaka both sighed in shared frustration.

They had failed at being caring and reliable _senpais._ How could they not even remember just _one_ thing Tsukishima liked to eat?

Nishinoya had thought him and Tanaka had been doing good at hyping up the first years and making them feel welcome, and had even felt content in their jobs at being senpais. However when Tsukishima fell ill, everything that Nishinoya and Tanaka had worked for broke down, and they felt responsible for strengthening their foundations with Tsukishima and the other first years as soon as possible.

“I feel as if this is risky,” Nishinoya admitted, scanning the shelves for the umpteenth time that afternoon. “I usually feel good about the things we do for our _kouhai,_ but I’ve been second guessing a lot recently… What if we screw things up?” he asked, looking up at his partner.

Tanaka smirked, slapping a hand against Nishinoya’s back. “Then we will try again,” he said boldly.

Nishinoya smiled. “You’re right” he decided, placing his hands upon his hips. He had been so worked up about messing up that he’d forgotten that second chances existed, even with Tsukishima. It was incredible how fast Tanaka could switch up his mindset so quickly.

“But.” Nishinoya’s broad posture faltered. “I still don’t know what to get. I know he doesn’t like sweet things very much-- besides baked stuff-- so I guess we should stay away from those.”

Tanaka hummed in agreement. “He likes french fries,” he mentioned, “but I’m not sure if that would be considered a snack.”

“Yeah.” Nishinoya let out an exasperated breath. He wanted this gift to be good so badly. 

They looked at each other. 

“Should we just guess?” Tanaka asked. “I feel like it would be cheating if we asked Ukai-san if he knew what to get.”

Nishinoya’s eyes widened for a second, then he raised his shoulders slowly into an assenting shrug. “Sure,” he said, averting his eyes back to the snacks.

Why not? They were most likely overthinking it. Sometimes guess work ended up being the best work, and they already had an idea of what Tsukishima liked so how awful could it be? 

The two spent a good ten minutes picking up snacks and asking the other what they thought of it. The process felt a lot smoother than basing the choices purely on faint memories. They soon figured out that the more they worked out each other's inferences on Tsukishima’s favorite foods, the more comfortable they became with choosing the right snacks for him. By the end of the selections, Nishinoya had to hug all the snack packages against his chest so they wouldn’t fall to the floor.

“This is good,” Nishinoya said, struggling to keep his balance while a bag began to slip out of his grip.

Tanaka nodded, a gratified grin upon his lips. “Ah,” he breathed out, lifting the two 6-pack boxes of strawberry milk up to his chest, “I’m feeling good about this, Noya-san. “

“Me too,” he agreed. He truly was proud of the gifts they’d gotten for Tsukishima today, and the minor setback from minutes ago didn’t bother him at all anymore. Nishinoya was glad that they’d done this together, and he sincerely believed this gesture would help mend any holes in theirs and Tsukishima’s relationship. “I’m going to have to get a job after this,” Nishinoya said light-heartedly.

Tanaka gave a cordial chortle. ”Me too. Maybe Saeko _Nesan_ can put in a good word for us at the Karasuno Kitchen,” he suggested, only half joking.

Both of their wallets would be likely cleaned-out by this final purchase. Nishinoya and Tanaka hadn’t planned to go this far out with present-buying, but the two kept running into items at the mall that they felt compelled into buying for their sick teammate, and still they never gave up on their plan to get snacks on the way back as well. Neither of them had even thought twice about how much they were spending until now, and even then they weren’t too miserable about it. This temporary shortage of cash would definitely be worth it.

The dynamic duo ventured out of the aisle to the front desk where Coach Ukai was entertaining himself with a magazine and a cigarette. When Nishinoya dumped the snacks atop of the desktop followed by Tanaka with the two milk packages, Ukai set down the magazine and gazed at each of them with a baffled expression.

“Wow. I knew you guys loved to eat,” he began as he started to scan a snack package, “but I never expected this much in one trip… I hope you two aren’t planning to devour all of this garbage in one sitting,” he added, giving them a warning glance.

“Don’t worry, coach. This isn’t for us,” Nishinoya assured in a spirited tone. 

Ukai took notice of the strawberry milk cartons on the counter, then his suspicions frown flipped into a knowing smirk.

“Ah…” he said as he looked up at the two boys, continuing to scan the items below him. “I believe I understand what’s going on here.” He focused back on his task at hand, keeping the conversation with Nishinoya and Tanaka. “You’ve got a good selection of foods here. I’m sure Tsukishima will appreciate it.”

Nishinoya and Tanaka glanced at each other with the grins of champions, similar to the faces they’d make when Nishinoya got the chance to set Tanaka a killer spike. This was going to be awesome. 

“4650 yen,” Ukai announced once he’d bagged all the items. He breathed the burnt ash from his nose as Nishinoya and Tanaka dug in their wallets and pockets.

After making sure to check every nook and cranny of their wallets and clothing, Nishinoya and Tanaka combined their collection of cash at the edge of the checkout desktop, meticulously calculating the sum of each bill and coin. When they finished, Nishinoya stepped back as he let out a disappointed sigh.

“Dammit,” Tanaka muttered under his breath.

They were over one thousand yen short. Neither of them had thought much about pricing when picking out snacks. They’d just gotten what looked good and grabbed multiple of the snacks that seemed the best. Although the groceries were difficult to carry in his hands, Nishinoya didn’t think it’d be worth as much as Ukai had rung up, or that they were already out of cash.

“We’re short,” Nishinoya told Ukai, neck warm with embarrassment. 

Ukai nodded, looking up from observing the shoddy pile of cash that had been placed in front of him. “I can see that. Don’t you guys have credits cards?” he asked.

“I haven’t really needed one yet,” Nishinoya replied. He didn’t know much about credit cards if he was being honest. He had a driver’s license and shopped by himself sometimes, but his father always sent him off with cash or a debit card at the most (which had been maxed out earlier at the mall). Was he supposed to have a credit card by now?

“I went too far over my spending limit last month,” Tanaka admitted rather awkwardly. “I can’t do that again.” He too didn’t know much about credit cards either, but he had gotten one two months ago when Saeko had gotten very busy with college work and didn’t have much free time anymore. “It’s okay,” Tanaka said quickly. “We can put some stuff back.”

“How much are you missing?” Ukai asked, overlapping Tanaka’s words.

Nishinoya and Tanaka glanced at each other in a telling manner. The way Ukai had sounded when he asked this seemed much too generous to be a normal question, despite how collected his tone was.

“1,577 yen,” Nishinoya said blankly. 

Ukai was quiet for a few seconds while Nishinoya and Tanaka watched him think, knowing what he was planning to do. They neither wanted to discourage him or beg him into going through with it, so they also stayed quiet.

“I can cover that for you,” Ukai finally decided, placing his palms onto the desktop to scoop the cash towards him. He glanced up at the two boys who each wore a surprised yet excited expression. “As long as you give me some credit. Alright?”

“Yessir!” Tanaka exclaimed happily.

The two bent into a stiff bow. 

_“THANK YOU!”_

Nishinoya was grinning again. His nerves jittered with eagerness as he imagined bringing the gift to Tsukishima. They’d put a lot of thought into this present. This gesture was in no way an attempt to buy Tsukishima’s friendship (Nishinoya was pretty sure that was impossible given how unmaterialistic he was), just a way to show him that his _senpais_ cared a lot about him. A way for Nishinoya and Tanaka to happily spoil their _kouhai_ during such a tough time.

The two thanked Ukai again before each of them grabbed a bag and made their way out to Nishinoya’s black Ford Focus (yeah! he was pretty cool) as the trunk began to open upon unlocking the back. They approached the rear of the car where Tanaka lifted the door all the way up with his free arm, revealing the storage bin that held all of their recently bought items.

Neither of them had the brightest idea on exactly what was the best choice for gift presentation. Wrapping everything up seemed too “ceremonial”, like they were trying to make a point by giving Tsukishima a present, and gift bags were a little too conspicuous and excessive for their liking, so the two ended up settling on a grey, fabric storage basket, just large enough for everything they’ve gotten.

To be quite honest, Nishinoya was impressed with the attractiveness of the gift’s layout, even if it was simple. Everything was beautifully organized in the basket… a little too organized based on what someone would expect from them. Maybe they’d spent too much time in the mall parking-lot sorting out items and making it fit all pretty inside in the bin. Nonetheless, everything was still good.

Nishinoya and Tanaka placed the two grocery bags in front of the bin and began sorting each item inside. The snacks stacked over the ledges, completely filling the basket’s capacity. They wouldn’t be able to fit any more extra gifts if they didn’t want to risk a disorganized presentation. 

They took a step back, admiring the bin and its contents as if it was the brightest star in the night sky. The two looked at each other, grinning madly. No one would have been able to guess that they’d been frustrated and beat-down just minutes before. 

“I think we’ve outdone ourselves here,” Nishinoya commented, crossing his arms over his torso. “Good work, Ryu-san.”

Tanaka returned a curt nod, moving his arms to mirror Nishinoya’s stature. “And you as well, Noya-san,” he replied before releasing a hand from his crossed arms to pound his partner’s fist.

After a moment, Tanaka let out a satisfied sigh and looked back at Nishinoya. “So. To Tsukishima’s house now?” 

Nishinoya gave him a firm thumbs-up. “Let’s go!” he exclaimed. 

It was relieving knowing that Tsukishima didn’t have to be hospitalized anymore. What they’d heard from Sugawara and Daichi was that he’d initially been put in there because of a severe allergic reaction to the treatment, causing further problems that needed to be examined hourly. Apparently the doctors were thinking of removing an entire organ because of this. Luckily he recovered and was sent home after a week and some odd days. It truly was a thrilling moment when they’d learned that Tsukishima was well enough to heal in his own home again.

The drive to Tsukishima’s house was upbeat and exciting. Both were ruthlessly chatty, as if it were a way to prevent their nerves from going wild. What cool and awesome senpais they were, but most importantly, how cool and awesome it was to give to a fellow teammate in need of some extra joy!

Nishinoya parked along the sidewalk in front of Tsukishima’s house then jogged to the back where Tanaka was already reaching in to grab the bin’s handles. 

“Okay,” Nishinoya said in a direct, bright tone. “You can carry that, and I’ll ring the bell.”

“Gotcha,” Tanaka replied. Keeping an arm around the box, Tanaka reached up and shut the trunk while Nishinoya walked towards the front porch. He soon caught up to him, each walking in a similar pace to the front door.

Although the cool December wind poked at the back of Nishinoya’s neck, the sunlight still managed to work it’s way around the thick clouds in the sky. Looked like there wouldn’t be snow anytime soon like the weatherman had promised.

With no hesitation, Nishinoya approached the door and promptly stuck his finger into the doorbell. 

After a long moment of listening to a muffled voice and footsteps, the door finally opened wide.

In the doorframe stood a smiley Tsukishima Akiteru. He had been expecting them since Nishinoya had texted him about visiting around an hour before.

It had become part of etiquette when visiting Tsukishima to text beforehand since he became more drowsy during the day, and because he disliked surprise visits. To keep at least most of the surprise, Nishinoya asked Akiteru not to tell Tsukishima who was coming. He also concealed the reason for the visit, since this request of hiding their identities had made Akiteru curious. This gift was going to be a surprise for everybody. 

“Tanaka-kun, Noya-kun, glad you could make it!” he greeted, instantly gazing upon the large item in Tanaka’s hands in wonder. “My, what an impressive gift! Are you sure you’ve spent enough?” Akiteru teased, chuckling lightly.

Nishinoya laughed. “Thank you. And maybe…” he replied, giving Akiteru a playful smirk. He wanted to abstain from telling him that they had spent all their money, as it wasn’t uncommon for people to feel inconvenienced by someone spending so much for them or their families. Maybe he’d tell him some other time. Or never. 

Tanaka appeared to be on the same page. “It wasn’t that much Akiteru-san,” he assured. “Anyway, this experience really showed me how much I gotta get off my bum to start getting some cash!”

This roused a hearty giggle from Akiteru. “Well, that’s okay then,” he said as he stepped aside. “I was going to ask if you guys wanted me to hand it to Kei, but I couldn’t imagine not being able to deliver such an incredible gift personally. Please, come in.” He stretched a hand into the home invitingly. 

The two thanked him before stepping inside and toeing off their shoes. 

Akiteru nodded towards a nearby staircase. “He’s in his room,” he said. “Just knock before you go in and you’ll be good. Can’t wait to hear about all of the things he got later. You two are best.” A pleasant smile still rested heavily on his face.

Tanaka sounded emotional. “Thank you.”

Nishinoya gave Akiteru a quick bow. “Thank you!”

With that, the two bounded up the staircase, each skipping a step as they walked up. At the top, they rounded the corner and made their way down the short hallway that led to Tsukishima’s bedroom door.

The door was ever-so-slightly ajar, just barely enough for Nishinoya to peek through and see the far corner where Tsukishima happened to be lying on his bed. He was sitting against a few pillows, occupied by a pair of headphones and something on his lap. Nishinoya wondered if he would be able to hear him knock.

Almost instantly Tsukishima perked up at Nishinoya’s knocking, pressing what sounded like a laptop key, then sliding his headphones off his peach-fuzzed head with a hand as the two senpais invited themselves inside.

“Tsukishima!” Nishinoya exclaimed, marching over to the bed to place his hands upon his teammate’s slender shoulders. He was smiling wolfishly in his face, and all Tsukishima could do was stare back with an expectant expression. “Are you doing well? We have something for you!” he said while backing into the middle of the room where Tanaka stood. He thrust his arms towards the gift as if revealing a pot of gold. “ _Da-nahh!!”_ He sang.

“What?” Tsukishima asked. Although he looked annoyed, his body language told a different story. His eyes locked onto the bin in Tanaka’s hands, and didn’t break contact while he placed his headphones and laptop behind or when he moved his legs over the bed to sit in a position similar to a child ready to open a present on Christmas morning.

“You heard him!” Tanaka replied ferociously, walking towards Tsukishima to hand him the gift.

He stared into the bin, observing everything inside. Tsukishima’s lips parted at the sight, and he looked up at them with a questioning expression. “Seriously? All of this?”

Nishinoya was still grinning. “All of it!” he confirmed.

“And the basket!” Tanaka added. “You can never have enough storage baskets.”

Tsukishima gazed back down, absolutely baffled by the ridiculous item sitting upon his lap. “Thanks, you guys but… Isn’t this a little much? I know you guys aren’t the smartest financially,” he said, a faint impish smirk rising upon his lips.

“Untrue!” Tanaka retorted with the same energy. “We are just fine. Just thought we should do something extra nice for a change.”

Nishinoya nodded. “Yes! Your super-cool senpais are here to provide some cheer to their kouhai like they should, that is all,” he finished, crossing his arms over his chest.

Tsukishima seemed to understand. “Alright. But if you guys are trying to buy me with pretty things, it’s not going to work,” he warned, looking back down into the bin.

Nishinoya wasn’t worried about that at all, and only because he didn't have to. If him and Tanaka truly wanted to buy Tsukishima out then they would have asked exactly what he wanted. Powered by pure thought and care, they’d spent way too long picking out the perfect gift for it to be a cheap way to gain Tsukishima’s appreciation. 

“We would never do such a foolish thing,” Tanaka said with a mock-aghast expression. “I’m offended that you would accuse us of that.”

Tsukishima glanced up at him. “Good.”

Nishinoya began to bounce on his feet with growing impatience. Tsukishima even seemed to be getting impatient himself with the way he physically looked like he was holding back from digging inside too early.

“What are you waiting for?” Nishinoya exclaimed, sitting himself on the floor so he could watch Tsukishima open the gift. 

Tanaka followed, taking a seat beside his friend. He threw an arm out earnestly. “Show us what you got!”

“Okay then.” Tsukishima stuck his hand and took out a couple of the snack packages. He looked at them with a face that neither showed disgust or irritation. (Hurrah!) “I’m pleasantly surprised here,” he stated. “Did Yamaguchi tell you to get this stuff?”

Nishinoya shook his head. 

Despite being proud of the gift, Nishinoya had still been quite wary about the snacks he’d chosen. It was difficult to try and pick out foods for someone who only ate when he had to, so Tsukishima asking this made him feel all the more ecstatic about the other items they’d bought for his gift. 

“Nope!” Tanaka said happily. “Everything in there was picked out just by us. The only help we got was from Ukai, who you can thank for giving us some extra money for snacks.” 

Tsukishima’s eyes widened— very slightly, but enough for Nishinoya to notice his surprise. He put on a smug smile as he imagined what Tsukishima was thinking. 

“Oh, wow. Nice work so far,” he replied. “I mean it. It’s good to know that you guys pay attention,” Tsukishima muttered, going back into the bin. 

That last statement had tugged bitterly on Nishinoya’s heart strings, enough to weaken his previously cheerful expression. 

Nishinoya had already known that he hadn’t made an effort to show how much he or Tanaka cared for Tsukishima in the past, and it sucked to be reminded of it, but he had to remember that Tsukishima had just given them a subtle compliment on the gift, which already meant that they were improving. Nishinoya returned to his jolliness and watched Tsukishima unpack the rest of the snacks, basking in the pleasing atmosphere that Tsukishima was radiating from seeing each package. 

Once the snacks and milks-- Tsukishima had smiled at this ( _“I guess on the bright side I’m not actually lactose intolerant like the doctors thought I was at first…”)_ \-- were emptied out, Nishinoya inched forward on his knees and intensified his gaze on Tsukishima. He’d be digging into the good stuff now.

Tsukishima paused, a sudden speck realization glistening in his eyes as he looked at the two sitting on his floor.

Tanaka and Nishinoya glanced at each other with invigoration. This was a positive reaction from Tsukishima. 

“You see something you like?” Tanaka pressed, grinning at Tsukishima from ear to ear. 

Tsukishima snorted, a disbelieving smile growing onto his lips. “You guys are crazy,” he mumbled as he pulled out one of the bigger gifts from inside. 

It was a big, black, lumpy yet soft heated blanket. The most expensive of the items that made up their gift, and the toughest to place (or forcibly shove to the point that the cardboard binding tore a bit in the back) into the bin. Tanaka and Nishinoya had not planned to get this, but once they saw it on the way out of the store they’d originally gone in, both of them pointed it out at the same time, they couldn’t resist such an impulse like this. 

“Pshht,” Tanaka said, waving Tsukishima’s comment off as if it were no big deal. “You act like we don’t know that already.”

Nishinoya bounced lightly against the backs of his feet. He always had a hard time keeping still, but this event was making this habit of always moving near impossible to keep control of. “Come on, Tsukishima. Admit it. We got you an awesome gift,” he demanded teasingly. 

Tsukishima backed into a stubborn smirk. “You don’t hear me complaining, do you?” 

He was right. Even if ‘complaining’ wasn’t exactly the correct word to use, Tsukishima definitely wasn’t the type to hold back when something was wrong or unacceptable in any way, whether it be big or small. Though he had made a point about expenses before, Tsukishima seemed happy enough with what he was receiving that he didn’t stress the issue any further. 

What Nishinoya also noticed was how held back Tsukishima was about saying thanks today-- or possibly any day now that he thought about it. This usually wouldn’t be much of a surprise since Tsukishima disliked a lot of extra attention, but this situation in particular seemed a bit different, like he was holding back for another reason Nishinoya hadn’t been aware of before. 

Judging from Tsukishima’s previous words, it seemed like he didn’t completely know how much Nishinoya and Tanaka, and possibly the rest of the team valued him. Not as a player, but as a teammate. A friend. Could it be true that Tsukishima’s mind couldn’t bear the fact that these two cared about him outside of volleyball as well? And if so, what did that mean for Tanaka and Nishinoya? 

Sheesh. Nishinoya was thinking way too much about this. When was the last time he’d thought this deeply about something? Tsukishima was just annoying, but he was grateful and that’s what mattered most. 

Tsukishima set the blanket at the end of the bed after giving a quick thanks, and went into the bin again, giggling as he revealed the next gift. 

A pair of green crew socks patterned with little giraffes. Honestly there was nothing too special about it. Nishinoya had seen it and thought it would be funny to see Tsukishima wearing them.

“It’s because I’m tall, isn’t it?” Tsukishima grumbled once he finished observing the socks.

Tsukishima looked unamused, but Nishinoya still grinned. “You kidding? Of course it is!” he laughed. “Plus, they will make you look super cool.”

“One hundred percent,” Tanaka added, nodding like a wise man. “All of your hospital friends will be so jealous of you. Especially that one chick who came to say hi when we came to visit that one time,” he snickered, wiggling his eyebrows at Tsukishima who looked angry.

Tsukishima shook his head. “I don’t have any _hospital friends_ ,” he stated clearly, dropping the socks beside him on the bed.

“Fine,” said Tanaka, who was still smirking lightly. “Either way, you will still look very snazzy.”

Nishinoya sent him a thumbs up, causing him to roll his eyes. 

“I guess it beats getting hats all the time,” Tsukishima admitted, frowning as he smoothed the top of his head. 

Tanaka responded instantly to the mood change “Yes!” he exclaimed, swiping a finger into the air. “No shame in being bald,” Tanaka continued, slicking the sides of his nearly-bald head with his hands. “Let that scalp _breathe!”_

Nishinoya stifled a laugh, patting down his own hair as he listened to Tanaka speak. He was so very passionate about his baldness sometimes. Must be nice for Tsukishima to not feel alone in his bare headedness (even though Tanaka’s baldness was voluntary and his was not), because despite how much he pretended like he didn’t care about his hair, anyone could tell he was upset about the hair loss. 

“Wow,” Tsukishima replied, visibly taken aback but Tanaka’s sudden burst of exhortation. “Thank you for that, Tanaka. But being bald should be your thing. I don’t think any one of us could pull it off as good as you do.” He smiled brightly, a kind of smile that could be taken as sincere or mocking or overall fake. Tsukishima made it so tough to read his expressions sometimes. 

Tanaka grunted. “Hm. I cannot disagree with you there…” He crossed his arms and pursed his lips smugly. “Well. You will grow to like it, I assure you,” he said, wincing at Tsukishima who continued to look unsure. 

“Whatever you say…” Tsukishima trailed, sticking his hand into the bin once more. 

Next was the gift that Nishinoya and Tanaka _had_ planned to buy. The one the they were excited about getting him the most. 

A little box no more than thirty centimeters tall which held a small lamp inside. Not just any lamp, but a squishy— admittedly adorable— LED dinosaur shaped lamp. Tanaka had seen it on a popular YouTube video, and seeing that launched the initial idea of teaming up to get Tsukishima a nice gift. 

This was it. 

This was the one that cracked open Tsukishima’s shell. 

It was either that Tsukishima hadn’t realized or hadn’t cared, the moment when he realized what exactly was in the box he was holding. He actually looked interested and immensely amused by the sight. 

This got Nishinoya excited now. He launched forward on his knees, slapping a finger against the side of the box where it listed the fun things the little dino lamp could do. 

“Look!” Nishinoya exclaimed. “You can make it any color you want, and you can change it just by squishing its little head,” he said excitedly. It was almost like giving this to Tsukishima was giving him the same joy he would experience if he was receiving the dino lamp himself. 

They spent some extra time marveling over its contents, and surprisingly, Tsukishima didn’t have to be provoked into opening up the box. He opened it using Nishinoya’s keys and brought out the rubber dinosaur, cupping in gently in his hands.

Nishinoya watched happily (and maybe proudly) as Tsukishima gazed upon their little gift. He didn’t even regret the fact that the other gifts they’d bought weren’t getting as much attention at the moment. The other stuff just added some spice to the main event. 

“This is— wow,” Tsukishima muttered, lowering the dinosaur onto his lap. He seemed at a loss for words. 

Tanaka and Nishinoya remained silent, eagerly waiting for Tsukishima’s next words. 

“I didn’t think you guys had it in you but… I’m impressed.” Tsukishima was smiling now. Nothing fake, no confusion, just a light gesture of gratefulness directed to the two senpais sitting on his bedroom floor. “Thank you. A lot. Everything here is almost creepily too perfect,” he laughed, looking at everything around him. “I’m glad to have such thoughtful senpais like you guys.” 

Oh my god. 

Nishinoya’s vision began to blur as his lips pulled into a shaky tight grin. 

Oh my god!!!

“Tsukishimaaaa!!!” Tanaka cried, standing up to his feet to force Tsukishima into a hearted bear hug. 

“Tsukishimaaaaa!!!” Nishinoya followed, running after Tanaka to join the hug. 

They sobbed against Tsukishima who let them hug him tightly. At least he wasn’t pushing them away today, which is what would have happened under a normal circumstance. 

For the first time since the diagnosis, Tsukishima seemed content with himself. This is exactly what Tanaka and Nishinoya wanted.

Mission accomplished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one will feature Tsukishima throughout the entire chapter. I just thought this idea was so cute/fun so I had to :)
> 
> I will admittedly say I did struggle with Tanaka's and Nishinoya's characteristics, so please let me know if I can add or take away anything that would make them be more in character!
> 
> Thanks for reading again...!


	3. Training Camp Reunion (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bokuto and Kuroo spend the weekend at Tsukishima’s place, each of them doing their best to make it as fun as it can be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, you read the chapter title correctly. Multiple parts for this one! Only because I love these three so much, and I have a few ideas in store that would require a lot of extra writing.  
> Enjoy!

Trees, trees, bushes, trees, grass, trees.

Bokuto couldn’t remember the last time he’d voluntarily taken a train down rural Japan, or anywhere outside Tokyo for that matter. In fact, the only times he had left his home-town was either for volleyball or the occasional visit to his distant family, which wasn’t even outside of the Kanto region.

Although he’d made many friends because of volleyball camps and tournaments, Bokuto never found a reason to hang out with his far friends since his social levels were already fulfilled by the many he had at home. Today was the first time since grade school that he willingly ventured out of his comfort area to go see a friend that had no relation to his childhood or his immediate family.

“You look like you’ve never seen the countryside in your life, Owl-kun.”

Bokuto grinned, eyes still sparking in wonder and delight as he looked at Kuroo who sat across from him at the train booth.

“I can’t imagine living here for sooo long,” Bokuto said. “But I am starting to get it now.”

Kuroo hummed, taking a look out the window himself. “I feel like it would be easy to get lost in a place like this.” He chuckled as a sarcastic smirk grew onto his lips. “You’re lucky you have me with you.”

Bokuto scoffed, failing to hold back his offended expression. “I don’t get lost,” he grumbled, checking the wrinkled paper sitting upon the shared tabletop for the tenth time that trip. 

On that piece of paper were messily copied directions from Google Maps, because there was a chance their cell service could cut out depending on if they ended up walking too far away from the sparse cell towers of the countryside. Not something either of them were used to so they— or rather Bokuto, mostly— resorted to using paper to guide them. 

A few minutes later, a mechanical voice sounded inside the train as the Amemaru station came into view. As the atmosphere shifted from the deceleration, Bokuto shoved the paper into his pocket and began to gather his things from the floor. Kuroo was doing the same. 

Once the train reached a full stop, the two stood up and headed out the doors along with only a few other passengers. Bokuto nearly tripped over the exit ramp as his duffle bag bounced against the back of his knee. 

“Why did you bring so much today?” Kuroo asked as he stepped beside Bokuto. His expression was overflowing with puzzlement and curiosity. “For our week long training camps, you always brought a grocery bag with you. Looks like you have everything you own with you now,” he said, laughing as he finished his sentence. 

Bokuto pouted, knowing he couldn’t deny Kuroo’s observation. He wasn’t a packrat when it came to overnight stays anywhere because he never found the need to bring more than a few toiletries and _maybe_ one or two changes of clothes, so it would definitely be strange for someone to see him with a lot of stuff for just a two night stay. 

“I don’t go to sleepovers very much,” he admitted hesitantly, gripping his backpack straps with his hand as he dodged the swinging duffle bag hanging from his shoulder. “And I wanted to bring something that would be fun to do, but I couldn’t choose so I brought everything.” Bokuto grunted, the weight on his shoulders shifting as he reached into his pocket. 

Kuroo raised an eyebrow at him, slightly amused by Bokuto’s frustration with the things he was carrying. He himself had only brought a large backpack, the one he used for volleyball games. It was stuffed, but it didn’t look as heavy as the one Bokuto carried on his back. “I can hold something for you” he offered genuinely. 

Bokuto shook his head. “Nah. I can do it,” he replied quickly. Although his muscles were already beginning to ache from the icy weather, and the constant running into the duffle bag seemed like it would cause minor bruising, he could deal with it. He was a big boy. 

“Okay. Suit yourself,” Kuroo mumbled, smirking with content. He looked at the rusty street ahead of him, observing each small building and bundled up civilians walking in and out of them. It was a relaxing sight, really. Maybe he should come down here more often. 

Bokuto whispered quietly to himself as he looked over the instructions on the paper. He glanced up and down and up and down, making sure they were walking on the street he’d written down or if they’d passed a certain checkpoint on the route. Kuroo would check in here and there to make sure they were heading the right way or to tease Bokuto about how precise he was being, but for the most part the walk was quiet as each of them had their own things to think about. 

Once Bokuto was completely sure of where they were going, he stuffed the paper back into his pocket and instantly went back to his usual, talkative and cheerful self. “We only have a kilometer left!” he announced, quickening his strides. “We just have to walk straight for a while then turn left at the next block and we’ll be at his house.”

Kuroo caught up with him right away, not surprised in the slightest by Bokuto's sudden burst of energy. “Good job not getting lost,” he praised, clasping a friendly hand against Bokuto’s thick winter coat. 

Bokuto grinned, his cheeks already tinted from the cold weather. “Thank you, Kuroo!” he exclaimed. “Hey, I wonder if Tsukki-chan has changed much since we last saw him. Maybe he will finally let us call him ‘Tsukki’,” he added with a hopeful expression. 

It had been all the way in August since either of them had last seen Tsukishima in person. Four months. Probably much too long ago, but both felt like this was a very appropriate time to visit him. Neither of them had forgotten about the (not so) teensy friendship they had formed during the Tokyo training camp the month before. 

“I hope not,” Kuroo replied, lightly shoving his chilled hands into his coat pocket. “I enjoy needling him with that name,” he chuckled. 

“Me too,” Bokuto giggled. “Forget what I said about the four-eyes changing, then!” he proclaimed, beginning to march at a hastier pace. “Let us go forth!”

The two walked (more like sped) down the last part of their pathway until they stood before Tsukishima’s house. Bokuto brought out the paper again, comparing the house number and descriptions.

“I think this is the right place,” Kuroo decided for himself before walking off towards the porch. 

“Yeah it is, I think!” Bokuto exclaimed as he bounded after Kuroo. 

It didn’t take long for someone to answer the door after Bokuto had raced to ring the doorbell first. 

In the doorframe stood a man just as tall as Tsukishima Kei. It wasn’t very hard to figure out that this man was related to him, and most likely his father due to the uncanny facial features and build-type (and even the same “I’m-bored-and-annoyed-at-everything” expression). 

“Are you Kei’s friends?” he asked, glancing at each of the two skeptically. 

Kuroo grinned politely. “I suppose we are.”

“Yes!” Bokuto replied happily, slinging an arm around Kuroo’s shoulders. “We are great friends with your son.”

Tsukishima’s father kept the bored expression, but he managed a half-welcoming smile for the two and stepped aside for them to answer. “Nice to meet you two, then.” 

Bokuto wasn’t unhinged at all by Tsukishima-san’s lack of charisma, and stepped inside with glee. 

As Bokuto was finishing taking off his shoes, Kuroo had somehow managed to strike up a conversation with Tsukishima’s dad about Tokyo’s train system. Bokuto was nearly about to join in until he was distracted by a new voice behind him. 

“Hey, Bokuto-san.” 

Bokuto instantly lit up, recognizing the voice right away. He turned around to face the one and only Tsukishima Kei, who had walked in from the end of the foyer. 

“Tsukki-chan!!!” Bokuto greeted loudly, shooting his arms out with joy. “I missed your face, bro!” he said as Tsukishima stepped between him and Kuroo. 

Tsukishima winced at the nickname, but didn’t bother commenting on it at that moment. “Thanks,” was all he had to reply. 

Quickly noticing his presence, Kuroo closed the conversation with Tsukishima’s father and turned to face his friend with a gratified expression. “Hey, Tsukki,” he acknowledged brightly, stepping aside as Tsukishima’s father walked further into the house.

“Tsukishima,” he corrected. “Did you guys make it here okay? Sorry to make you guys walk,” Tsukishima asked, visibly taking notice of their flushed cheeks and thick clothing. 

“We made it here just fine. No need to worry about us,” Kuroo assured before tugging off his beanie. His black hair had been matted down from its usual crest shape, and the style strangely made him look a bit more tame.

Bokuto had the same issue with his own hair. Now that his beanie was off too, Bukuto’s silver, black-rooted hair was pressed onto his forehead as opposed to his classic owl-head look. 

“Yep!” Bokuto nodded, puffing out his chest. “I lead the way, so it was obviously just fine,” he said while Kuroo chuckled at him. 

Tsukishima widened his eyes in amusement. “That’s… good. I’m glad to hear that,” he responded. 

Bokuto kept his grin as he made a quick observation on his friend. Still the same Tsukishima despite the recent…. conditions. He still looked tired and bothered just like he did back in camp or when Bokuto came to visit after his tournament games. Maybe he looked a bit more on the tired side but it was no bother! Bokuto would be able to provide company no matter what. He wasn’t here just for himself. 

“So, you gonna show us your house or what?” Kuroo teased. 

Tsukishima smirked lightly. “Yeah, follow me. We’re going to go upstairs where everything is,” he said as he started out the foyer. 

Bokuto trotted close to Tsukishima’s tail, itching for this sleepover/hangout/awesome-friends-time to begin already. He only smiled at Tsukishima whenever he glanced back at him every time he was a step too close. 

After nearly tripping down the stairs and bumping his bags into the banister on the way to Tsukishima’s room, Bukuto hauled his things into the middle of the bedroom where a futon was laid out. Kuroo stepped around him from behind and dropped his backpack onto the mattress. 

“Here, Bokuto-san,” Tsukishima said as he lead Bokuto into another bedroom adjacent from his door. “This is Akiteru _Niisan_ ’s bedroom.”

Because Tsukishima’s room would have been too cramped with two futons, he had decided on letting Bokuto sleep in his older brother’s room since he wouldn’t be home this weekend. It was a fair decision because Kuroo had thoroughly explained to Tsukishima on a phone call that Bokuto was a night owl, something that neither himself nor Tsukishima was, and that he snored like a dog (and even hummed into his sleep on some occasions).

Of course Bokuto was a bit disappointed with this outcome at first, because he feared that he would miss out on some late night gossip (especially since those two seemed like the juiciest gossipers when it came down to it), but he was glad to be sleeping in a big comfy bed, so he wasn’t going to throw a fit just yet. 

“Thanks, Tsukishima!” Bokuto said, walking over to the bed at the end of the bedroom. He quickly dropped his bags onto the bed before turning to meet Tsukishima’s eyes. “I appreciate you doing this for me. Tell your brother I say thanks _a lot!!!_ ” he yelled, raising a grateful fist over his head. 

Tsukishima returned a somewhat enthusiastic smile. “It’s no issue. I will let him know,” he assured, adjusting the mint colored beanie on his head. 

_Bald_. Bokuto thought. 

_How cool!_

The two walked back into the bedroom where Kuroo was in the middle of observing Tsukishima’s shelved figures and books above his desk. 

“Dino-fanatic, huh?” Kuroo asked, facing Tsukishima as he walked into the room. 

“Tch. No...”

Tsukishima’s cheeks were flushed, and Bokuto couldn’t help but let go of a hearty laugh. Clearly this guy didn’t have friends over very often. 

Bokuto clasped a friendly hand onto his shoulder, resulting in a confused side-eye from Tsukishima. 

“Don’t be embarrassed, Tsukki!” Bokuto encouraged loudly. He reached out of his grip on Tsukishima to retrieve a palm-sized triceratops figure from the lower shelf and proceeded to bounce it in the air like a child playing with a toy. “Dinosaurs are soooo cute!” he mused, gliding the dino figure in front of Tsukishima’s eyes. 

Tsukishima gave Bokuto a final skeptical glance before snatching the triceratops from his fingers. “Can you please not play with that?” he muttered as he reached up to place the dinosaur back onto the shelf. “And call me ‘Tsukishima’, okay?” he reminded loosely, facing the group again. 

“Okayyy,” Bokuto sighed dramatically. He was already bored, and he really wanted to see that figure again. It was actually kind of interesting to look at. He wished he was into something cool like that too. 

Kuroo had been chuckling at their interactment, easing the awkward tension between the two as Bokuto got a look as his new finding. 

After Kuroo got a few moments of his own prodding at Tsukishima’s special interest, Bokuto set down a random magazine he found and expressed his desire to do something fun, and that there was “no time to waste” (despite having just arrived). 

“What do you want to do?” Kuroo asked Tsukishima, who finally looked more relaxed compared to when Bokuto talked to him. 

“I was hoping you guys would have something to do,” he admitted, glancing between the two standing in his bedroom. “Unless you want to watch a movie, but I think we can do that later tonight.” 

It was just after five pm, so the movie probably wouldn’t come for at least another three hours. They had arrived later in the day because it was Friday, a school day, and both captains needed to be at practice due to nationals being less than a month away. However, both Bokuto and Kuroo left their practices early to make the four o’clock train to Sendai, so they could have some extra time to travel or spend with their friend. 

Kuroo immediately looked at Bokuto, who was wiggling on his feet with impatient energy. “I think Bokuto might have something for us to do,” he noted. 

Bokuto nodded, sticking a proud finger into the air. “Heck yeah, I do!” he exclaimed, earning a small bemused smile from Tsukishima. “I brought some card games— which by the way, I am very very good at! And my mom gave me a couple of those cookie boxes if we want to bake any, but I also brought a lot of food as well so….!” he paused, trying to remember what else he had brought. “Oh yeah, and I brought a volleyball, but that’s definitely okay if we don’t use it! I also have Kuroo’s favorite game Clue. Um…”

“Are we even going to have time to talk?” Kuroo cut him off, grinning at Bokuto’s overzealous enthusiasm.

“Uh…” Tsukishima raised a hand to the crook of his neck as he mentally flipped through each option he was given. “Card games sound good, I guess,” he decided with a shrug. 

_Yay!_

“Really?! Okay, so I have this western game called UNO, a deck of Hanafuda, a deck of normal cards, and I think Machi Koro,” Bokuto listed, counting on each finger. 

Tsukishima shrugged again. “They all sound the same to me,” he replied. 

“Go choose one out for us,” Kuroo suggested, nodding towards Akiteru’s bedroom. 

So Bokuto did, and he ended up getting the regular deck of cards because you couldn’t go wrong with that. 

After some time discussing on what game to play, they had decided on Buta no Shippo, a fast-paced game that required little strategy, mostly reflex. Surprisingly, Tsukishima was pretty quick with his hands, which gave Bokuto an extra challenge on top of Kuroo, who was already very fast. 

Bokuto had been loud the whole time, cheering when he had beat someone to slap the pile, exasperating when he had to pick up the pile, or trying to excuse himself when he had accidentally missed the slapdown. As the games went on, Kuroo’s smug remarks were more daring, and Tsukishima’s sarcastic comments became more constant. Soon enough, the energy in the room was buzzing, and Bokuto had even managed to break a sweat from playing so hard. 

It almost seemed too quick. Bokuto hadn’t even noticed that nearly an hour had passed since they’d sat down and played until they reached the end of their seventh or eighth round (they had decided to add an extra deck to the pile for more flare since the rounds had been going by too fast, and they’d taken a few breaks in between to chat about volleyball and life at home). 

Kuroo set his deck into the center pile and stretched out his shoulders while Tsukishima dropped in his own deck, blinking heavily as he did so. Bokuto frowned slightly, despite the lingering excitement in his body.

For the last few rounds, Tsukishima’s energy level had begun to decrease by a noticeable amount. His reaction time was slower, he wasn’t paying as much attention to when it was his turn, and most importantly, he wasn’t bothering to insult Bokuto’s and Kuroo’s playing skills nearly as much as he had during the most heated part of their gameplay. He’d already lost three times in a row, too. 

“Are you okay, Tsukishima?” Bokuto asked, eyes wide with curious concern. 

Tsukishima seemed alarmed by this question. He sat up straight, bringing up his fingers beneath his glasses to rub an eye. “What? I’m good. Let’s keep playing,” he insisted, though his posture already began to falter again. 

“Are you sure? We don’t need you randomly passing out on us when we least expect it.” Kuroo was smirking, but there was a glint of warmth and softheartedness in his eyes. 

Tsukishima winced, sitting back on his hands. “It’s awkward to sleep when friends are over. Plus, I’m just fine,” he assured before stifling a yawn. 

Bokuto decided to take charge. “Don’t be lame! How are we supposed to have fun if you’re all drowsy and stuff?” he questioned. 

“He’s got a point, Tsukki,” Kuroo added, watching him intently. 

Tsukishima was quiet for a moment, then slowly turned his gaze to Kuroo and Bokuto. “Fine,” he obliged, pulling himself to his feet. “There’s a TV in the loft up here you guys can use. Sorry about this. I should have slept before you guys came,” he grumbled, cringing faintly to himself.

Bokuto scooped up the cards into his hands as Kuroo pressed himself off the floor and gently slapped his hands on Tsukishima’s arms. 

“Don’t apologize,” Kuroo demanded with a mock-disgusted grin. He let go of him, letting his arms fall to his sides. “Rest if you gotta rest! We’ll have more fun when you’re refreshed,” he said.

Bokuto slid the deck back into its box and jumped to his feet, still overflowing with energy. Once he got going like this, there was no stopping until total burnout, which wouldn’t be for a while now. “Yes!” Bokuto agreed huskily. “I will be very patient in waiting for you.”

Tsukishima, still looking unsure of himself, let out a soft sigh. “Okay then,” he said before stepping towards his bed. “If I’m not awake in thirty minutes come get me. Or else I won’t be able to sleep tonight,” he explained briefly, sliding his glasses off his nose to set them aside on a nearby nightstand. 

“You can count on us!” Bokuto exclaimed as he stuck his thumb into the air. 

“We’ll do that,” Kuroo assured, smiling lightly. “Rest up, sleepyshima,”

Tsukishima deadpanned at the name. “Thanks.”

Bokuto and Kuroo ended up not watching TV, but sat on the couch to flip through a photo album Kuroo had found when looking through the TV cabinet for the remote. They giggled and pointed at pictures of baby and child Tsukki, finding humor in all of his differences and similarities they found in each photograph. One thing Bokuto particularly found hilarious was a photo Tsukishima and his classmates, probably at around eight years old, who towered over everyone else in the photo.

Kuroo had laughed along with him. “You think he smiles like that nowadays?” he asked him.

Bokuto pursed his lips as he thought about it for a few seconds, then shook his head. “I don’t think we’d see that in a million years,” he proclaimed. Maybe there was a secret way to get him to smile like that, Bokuto had thought to himself. Maybe he’d try and figure it out while he was here.

Time flew as they went through the rest of the thick photo album, it flew so quickly that a little under half an hour later they were nearing the end of the album. At two pages from the end, Tsukishima had shuffled into the room and asked what was so funny.

The two looked up at him, neither of them showing any sort of guilt or regret for looking through the album. In fact, Kuroo picked up the small binder from Bokuto’s lap and faced it towards Tsukishima who was rubbing away some extra sleep from his cheeks.

“Tell me what you’re wearing in this picture,” Kuroo demanded, smirking with playful nature. 

Tsukishima didn’t move once he noticed the photo. He only stared, as if processing what Kuroo was holding before him. “The hell?” he asked.

Bukuto peeked around the album cover to see which photo Kuroo was referencing, then found himself smiling with fascination and surprised glee. Beside Kuroo’s finger was a picture of toddler Tsukishima, wearing nothing but a diaper and a hooded dinosaur towel, grinning widely with all the baby teeth he had.

“WOW!” Bokuto roared, eyebrows lifted as if it were the most amazing thing he had ever seen. “So charming, Tsukki-chan!” he mused, which was instantly followed by a noisy giggle.

Tsukishima broke out of his frozen posture and stormed towards Kuroo, who simply held the album farther away from his reach.

“Don’t break that,” Tsukishima said as he made another swipe for the binder. He looked determined to get the photo album back, which only widened Kuroo’s smirk and his own determination to prevent Tsukishima from grabbing it.

Bokuto grinned mischievously, sitting up on his knees to retrieve the binder for himself as if playing a game of Monkey in the Middle. He laid the album on his lap and dramatically swooned over the photo like a teenage girl. _“Aww! Look how cute he looks! Baby baby, Tsukki-chaaaan--”_ he sang in a falsetto voice.

Tsukishima grunted impatiently and attempted to pull the photo album from Bokuto, who had reacted faster and stuck the album between his back and the cushion of the couch. He wagged a finger at Tsukishima who looked down at him with a displeased expression.

“You can have this back on one condition,” Bokuto said. 

Tsukishima seemed repulsed by this statement, but he eyed Bokuto with curiosity. “Okay?” he asked, encouraging Bokuto to continue on. 

Oops. Perhaps he had gone into this “condition” thing too quickly. Bokuto turned his head to face Kuroo. “What should the condition be?” he asked him. 

Kuroo brought a hand to his chin, smirking to himself as he thought of an answer. “Hm.”

Tsukishima crossed his arms and scoffed as he waited for Kuroo to say something. 

“The condition is,” he began as he straightened his posture. “You have to let us prank call one of your teammates,” Kuroo said. 

“Oooh!” Bokuto exclaimed as he bounced excitedly in his seat. 

Prank calls! They were so fun to do, especially with other people. He wasn’t very good at doing them by himself because he’d always get caught so quickly, but these two seemed like they’d be good at it. Maybe they could give him some tips, or pull him out of any danger if he accidentally said the wrong thing. 

Tsukishima’s irritated expression sobered quickly upon hearing this condition, and he almost looked shocked by what Kuroo had decided on “That’s it?” he asked. 

“Don’t think I’m going easy on you now, Tsukki,” Kuroo replied flippantly, leaning back against the couch cushion. “We get to choose who to call _and_ the situation,” he added. 

Tsukishima scowled at this, yet the two captains continued to grin expectantly at him. 

“That’s totally not a fair trade,” Tsukishima argued, glaring at the spot where Bokuto was hiding away the photo album. 

Feeling playful, Bokuto pulled the album from behind his torso and placed it back onto his lap. He flicked to a page he’d bookmarked in his mind when he and Kuroo had looked it over earlier. 

Bokuto fought to collect himself as he gazed down upon a picture on that page. It was a photo of little Tsukishima Kei missing one front tooth, freakishly grinning at the camera while he sat butt-naked on the toilet. The photo was a bit blurry and at a lower eye-sight than the others, so it was likely taken by his big brother. But this only made the photo a hundred times more hilarious to look at. 

“ _OooOooh, what a handsome boy!”_ he sang through giggles. _“He can even use the toilet too!”_

Bokuto continued on for a moment longer before both he and Kuroo had burst into loud, uncontrollable laughter. With the outrageous photograph, Bokuto’s cooing, and Tsukishima’s beet red face, they couldn’t help it. How was it possible for someone to look so empty and angry at the same time?

Tsukishima swiped the book off of Bokuto’s lap, who didn’t bother stopping him anymore. He just continued to laugh and laugh while Kuroo gradually began to settle down beside him. 

“Fine,” Tsukishima muttered, hugging the photo album against his abdomen. “I’ll do it, but don’t get me in trouble, please. And also, don’t tell _anyone_ about this photo,” he begged quietly, a genuine look of terror and worry in his eyes. 

This non-characteristic reaction from Tsukishima only made Bokuto howl now, and Kuroo, who had just started to relax, was back into hysterics. 

Tsukishima tried to stay angry, but even he himself couldn’t help but break a smile, and even snigger to himself. Perhaps he needed to not take himself so seriously all the time. 

Once everyone had (mostly) died down, Tsukishima’s mother called them to the kitchen for dinner. Almost instantly, the previous thought had left Bokuto’s mind at the sound of food. All this laughing was making him hungry. 

“After dinner, we call!” Kuroo announced before standing up and stepping out of the room. 

Bokuto leaped to his feet.

Food, prank calls… So many things to look forward to! This was going to be a fun night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Where is Akaashi, you might be wondering?  
> He’ll show up, do not worry. I haven’t forgot about him.


	4. Training Camp Reunion (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima manages to briefly open up to Bokuto and Kuroo during a midnight encounter in the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello... Yes I am alive. I apologize for the three week break! School stuff kept coming up at times I wanted to write. (Sigh)  
> A bit angsty, but their interactions are so sweet. Enjoy!
> 
> Content Warning: Vomit and Mentions of Vomit

The dinner Tsukishima’s mother prepared for them was so incredibly tasty that Bokuto questioned his own mother’s inability to reach this level of home cooking. Is this what living in the countryside does with people? Could he achieve this kind of power one day?

Tsukishima’s mother seemed happy with the impressive amount of chit-chat from the table— which mostly included Bokuto and Kuroo pestering each other or ‘Tsukki(-chan)’ (Tsukishima’s parents chuckled at this nickname)— and soon enough, the entire family (yes, even Tsukishima Kei) was chatting happily with one another around the dinner table. 

Now it was back to the nightly activities with the three boys, each of them sitting in a circle around the futon on Tsukishima’s bedroom floor as their dinners sat warmly in their bellies. 

“Okay, let’s get this started,” Kuroo said, pulling his phone from atop of his belongings before bringing it to his chest. He looked at Bokuto with an ambitious, ready expression. “Should we call captain-san? I’m sure it would be funny.”

Bokuto was already prepared with his own suggestion. “But doesn’t he know you already? I think we should call that big guy with the long hair,” he said, raising his brows mischievously as he felt an invisible man-bun under his skull. 

Kuroo hummed wisely. “That is true…” he acknowledged, clicking his tongue as he continued to think about his options. 

“Those are both terrible people to choose,” Tsukishima piped in, gazing at each of them with his default bored expression. 

Bokuto gasped. How could Tsukki be so careless to reveal this golden information on who he wanted them to call least? “That means we have to call one of them then!” he exclaimed. 

Tsukishima swept out his hands. “No no. That’s not why I said that.”

Going blank, Bokuto tilted his head and gave Tsukishima a questioning glance. “What do you mean?”

A smug look sprouted onto Tsukishima’s face, which only made Bokuto more antsy inside. “It means I think you guys can do better than that,” he replied. 

Kuroo raised his brows at him. “I see you’re into helping your opponents,” he said nonchalantly, attempting to tear at Tsukishima’s so-called annoyance with this activity. 

Tsukishima’s smugness was instantly overcome by flustered peevishness. He scoffed. “No. I did say you could choose whoever, right? You don’t need my help,” he said. 

“Don’t play that game with me, Tsukki,” Kuroo warned, smirking wolfishly. “Either tell us why we shouldn’t call them or tell us who we should call instead,” he demanded. 

Tsukishima was quiet for a moment before giving in. “Daichi-san is smart, I’m sure we-- I mean you guys will get caught fairly quickly.” He sat up, wincing at them as he continued to speak. “Unless you think you can trick him _and_ get away with it, which I highly doubt… And then calling Asahi-san would just be sad. It would be a waste to use your one free call on him,” he said, his bland eyes staring with a strange intent.

Bokuto scrunched his nose with impatient frustration. “Fine. Then who do you think we should call since you want to help all of a sudden?” he asked, jutting his head out.

“I’m just offering a small input,” Tsukishima corrected as he pulled a pillow off of his lap. “Call Hinata. That will be funny.”

Kuroo ignored his suggestion. “How about that libero of yours?” he asked, an eager expression painted on his face.

Bokuto perked up. “Nishinoya-kun! I remember him!” he exclaimed as he bounced against the pillow he was sitting on. 

“Don’t you think it would be more fun to call Hinata?” Tsukishima blurted above Bokuto’s random burst of excitement. 

Kuroo laughed as he unlocked his phone. “From the sound of that, we gotta call Nishinoya.”

Tsukishima turned his head upwards as Kuroo thrusted his phone into his chest. He glanced down at the screen with a grimace, then back at Kuroo who gave him an expectant grin. “I don’t want to prank someone who I respect,” he argued.

“Hey, you’re breaking the rules!” Bokuto cried as he placed his fists against his hips. “You’re not allowed to say who we call, remember?” He poked a finger in the air like a snotty hall monitor catching a kid running in the halls. 

“He’s right, Tsukki,” Kuroo said, giving the phone a shake with his wrist. “You won’t even have to say a thing if you’re really so held up about losing his trust or whatever.”

Tsukishima slowly reached up for the phone, breathing out sharply as he did so. He grumbled just loud enough for the others to hear as he thumbed the number into the calling app. “Where’s the fun in that?” he sighed before handing the phone back to Kuroo. 

“That’s the spirit!” Bokuto raised a hand to slap it harshly against Tsukishima’s back. He didn’t even notice that his hand was tingling from the slap, or that Tsukishima was giving him an angry fish-eye as he was too distracted by his own enthusiasm.

Bokuto shifted to face Kuroo. “So. What are we going to say?”

  
  
  


The prank call went incredibly well, and even Bokuto got to play a good part in their shenanigan without being suspicious at all. It left the trio in hysterics; Bokuto pounding the floor, Kuroo nearly choking on his lungs, and Tsukishima with his chest bouncing up and down with laughter. They made a great team when it came to stuff like this. 

After crying out about Nishinoya’s reactions and each of their abilities to act, the three let out a collective sigh, calming down only to leave big satisfied grins on their faces. 

“I can’t believe you came up with such a good idea,” Tsukishima told Kuroo as he adjusted his glasses on his nose. “Nicely done.”

“Yeah,” Bokuto agreed, struggling to sit up from his lying position on the floor. His stomach was sore from laughing too hard. “That was super smart! Your radio guy voice was _sooo_ different from your real voice!!” he mused. 

Kuroo returned a humble chuckle. “Your construction guy voice was really good too, Owl-kun,” he said as he gave his cheekbones a final wipe. “I do kind of feel bad though, he sounded a bit embarrassed at the end. I might apologize later.” 

Coming from Kuroo, Bokuto didn’t expect any less of this behavior. Kuroo liked messing around, but he usually tried to make up for it later whether it was directly or not. Bokuto wasn’t sure how he did it, or even remembered to do those sorts of things.

“He’ll laugh about it later,” Tsukishima assured. This was a definite change of attitude from before their prank call. Something inside of him must have shifted during that time. “My scream sounded pretty real though, don’t you think?” he asked them with a smirk. 

“It did!” Bokuto exclaimed. “I actually thought you got hurt for a second.”

They chatted for a little more before Tsukishima took notice of the time. 

“We should watch a movie before it’s too late,” he said, placing his hands on his bed frame behind him and pushing himself to his feet. 

Kuroo and Bokuto followed, each agreeing that they’d better do that. 

Finally, after some awaited time of changing into comfier clothes, and making popcorn while Bokuto hopped into the shower, the three went back into the loft and picked out a movie together. 

Bokuto’s restlessness had finally diminished, and he was very content with simply sitting back and relaxing for a few hours. It was draining being the type to stay on your toes for such a long time, and it felt great to put on a fresh pair of clothes after showering and settling down to watch a movie. In fact after devouring his serving of popcorn, he fell asleep hugging the arm rest which caused him to miss nearly an hour of the film. 

When he blinked himself awake, he found himself watching a pretty intense fight scene on the TV. Oh god, he definitely missed more than he had planned to.... Hadn’t they picked out a silly looking rom-com? What was this?

He wiped the grogginess from his eyes and lifted his cheek from the armrest. It didn’t take him long to realize he’d mistaken this make out scene for a fight scene.

“Hey, who is that guy?” Bokuto asked. He looked beside him only to find that Kuroo had moved to the floor to let Tsukishima lay down against the opposite arm rest.

Tsukishima glanced up at him. It looked like he was close to falling asleep too. “It’s her dentist. You missed a lot,” he mumbled.

Bokuto frowned. He should have stayed awake… although he didn’t even remember falling asleep in the first place. Stupid brain.

The movie ended soon after that, but Bokuto managed to find a way to enjoy it. His imagination filled in all the plot holes, and the ending was satisfactory for what he’d seen. He was happy for a bit until Kuroo and Tsukishima began discussing the movie and he couldn’t add any input. It made him question how much more he’ll miss out on sleeping in a room by himself.

Thankfully, Kuroo called bedtime so they could be well rested for tomorrow and soon enough they parted ways in the hall the go to their designated sleeping spots,

Bokuto wasn’t sleepy, likely due to his hour long nap that he had accidentally taken, but he was a bit glad to head to bed. It gave him time to think about all the stuff he could do tomorrow and how he could avoid being left out again.

He stared up into the dark ceiling.

At least Akaashi was coming tomorrow, that was a plus-- although he would have to leave before the day ended due to his parents being wary about staying out for so long and so far. Apparently Bokuto being there wasn’t enough for his parents. Geez, was he really this irresponsible?

Bokuto blinked. There was no way he was going to be falling asleep anytime soon, letting his thoughts go wild like this.

He rolled onto his side and looked at Akiteru’s bedside the clock. 11:30 pm. It had been an hour since he’d last looked at the time, but Bokuto could have sworn it had been a lot longer than that.

After aimlessly scrolling on his phone for another thirty minutes, Bokuto’s eyelids began to grow heavy. He would have fallen asleep a few minutes later if it weren’t for the quick footsteps he heard outside of his door.

Bokuto sat up slightly, moderately frightened by the sudden noise in the house. Running at 12:00am? What a creepy thing to hear… especially since there were no dogs or little kids in the house at all. 

He set down his phone and listened, hoping that he was just hearing things. But the noises continued, now replaced by a near-distant sound of someone throwing up. 

He instinctively cringed at hearing it, but a growing solicitude suddenly appeared within Bokuto’s chest as the sounds continued. 

Bokuto hadn’t really thought much about Tsukishima being sick until now. Sure, it was a bit showing when he got tired earlier, but Bokuto shooed it off as if it was a small obstacle between their activities. He didn’t realize that it really was quite abnormal to have to set aside time to nap while your buddies were other.

This guy was _sick_ sick. Cancer sick. Not stomach-bug-during-the-weekend sick. It was a miserable thing he had to go through, probably-- definitely. He’d been thinking so lightly about this before, and now that he saw the big picture Bokuto felt even more helpless than before. Bokuto gritted his teeth together as he heard Tsukishima cough again.

Maybe he could help. Maybe he could redeem himself for missing out on the movie, or making fun of his baby pictures (it was kind of funny though…). 

Making up his mind, Bokuto squirmed out of bed and ventured right across the hall where the bathroom was. Because of his own family’s antics and the usual lack of personal space awareness he had, Bokuto calmly opened the door and stepped inside where his and Tsukishima’s eyes met instantly.

“Did I wake you?” Tsukishima asked weakly. He was standing in front of the toilet, a hand gripping the lid of the tank and another on his stomach, and he didn’t seem embarrassed, per say, by Bokuto coming in at such a private act, but the situation was still weird. At least on his end.

“No, I couldn't sleep. Are you okay?” he asked, taking another step forward. Bokuto was trying his best to remember what his mother or his older sisters would do if they found him like this. He will admit that he was a bit pampered, but Tsukki did not seem the type to like that sort of attention, so he stayed cautious.

Tsukishima nodded against his arm. “Yeah, I’m fine. You shouldn’t worry about me,” he said before flushing the toilet. Though the toilet was flushed, he didn’t move from his spot but instead moved to sitting on the tiled floor, resting his arms on his knees. When he noticed Bokuto still hadn’t left, he winced at him (partly because he’d left his glasses in his bedroom) and said, “You can go back to bed, Bokuto-san. Thanks for checking in on me but I’ll be okay.”

Bokuto rejected his suggestion. “I’m not going to sleep anytime soon, especially since now I know you are in _dire need_ of my assistance,” he responded, puffing out his chest in a playful yet eager manner.

Either Tsukishima was interested in what Bokuto had to offer, or he was too exhausted to say no (probably the latter, if Bokuto was being honest) because he snorted and responded with a, “‘K....”

“Do you need some water?” Bokuto didn’t even wait for his answer, as he was already filling up a cup of tap water as he spoke. “Here,” he said, walking to Tsukishima to hand him the cup.

He accepted it and thanked him faintly before giving the water a few sips then setting it beside him. Already, Bokuto was ready to be of service again.

“What else? Can you see me? Do you need your glasses?” he asked.

“Not really, but I don’t need them right now.”

“Okay. Medicine? Do you have any of that?”

“Yes. I already had some a couple hours ago though.”

“Oh.” Bokuto was stumped. How else could he help? “I will provide you my company then.”

“I don’t want company while I’m vomiting.”

Bokuto pursed his lips, gently hopping up on the sink counter to show that he was planning to stay for a little longer. “But you’re not vomiting right now,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Why else would I be sitting on the floor in front of my toilet?” Tsukishima asked, voice drained from any sort of irritability or impatience.

He didn’t have an answer for that. “Because...”

Tsukishima didn’t say anything else. Bokuto watched him silently as he rested his face in his arm, staring glossily at the toilet in front of him. He looked unhappy, though Bokuto had a feeling this unhappiness wasn’t caused by him. Perhaps sparking a conversation would help.

“Um…” Bokuto began. Tsukishima glanced up at him.

Should he ask this?

“Eh…” Bokuto was struggling to find words. He was told he needed to be more careful with them a while ago, and this seemed pretty sensitive enough to be thinking twice about it.

“What?” Tsukishima asked, lifting his face from his arm. It seemed like he knew what Bokuto wanted to ask.

“WelI… do girls like you more now that you have cancer?” he asked with a nervous cringe on his face. “Lots of girls go crazy over movies about sick boys-- and stuff…”

Tsukishima scowled, which made Bokuto anxious. Oh god, why did he have to ask that? 

“Yes, actually. And it is very annoying. I just block them now,” he grumbled, letting his head fall forward. “Maybe you do need to go to bed, Bokuto.”

Wow. The first time Tsukishima didn’t use honorifics with him. Bokuto was lucky that he didn’t fall into his “emo-mode” because of this-- though his mentality was hanging on a string by now.

“I just wanted to know!” Bokuto defended. He lowered his voice, realizing he had gotten too loud. “Please don’t be mad, Tsukki... shima,” he finished his name in hopes to ease the situation a little.

“Ugh. I’m not--” Tsukishima lifted his head and maneuvered himself onto his knees as he continued to speak. “I’m not mad. I was just expecting you to ask something else,” he confessed.

Bokuto blanked. Something else… Like what? Something serious? He could do that...maybe. “What did you want me to ask?”

“I thought you were going to ask ‘what’s it like?’ or something similar,” Tsukishima said, now positioned with his hands pressing on his thighs. His green tint was beginning to return, but Bokuto was too distracted by Tsukishima’s response to notice.

“Do you want to answer that question?” Bokuto asked. Now that he mentioned it, he did want to know what it was like. He never learned much about this kind of stuff before and now that someone he knew-- a friend-- was dealing with it, he felt like he needed to be able to know what was going on himself.

“I don’t know.”

Bokuto hummed thoughtfully. What would his mom say? What would his big sisters say? 

“You should,” Bokuto encouraged, lightly bouncing his heels against the cabinet doors. “Maybe it will be good for you to tell me.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Tsukishima muttered wearily. 

Bokuto eyed Tsukishima, taking notice of this new posture of his. He looked like he was focusing really hard on something…

“Huh, Tsukki? Have I lost ya?”

Tsukishima breathed in. Bokuto was expecting him to at least say something snarky back to him, but instead he got no reply. Instead, Tsukishima ducked down and puked.

Bokuto had frozen, unsure of how to react to this sudden expulsion from his friend, but when Tsukishima didn’t pull away Bokuto was quick to break out from his daze and step in behind Tsukishima to give some sort of support. 

He brought a hand up to rub the top of his shoulders, doing his best to mimic the touch of one of his family members, and waited patiently for Tsukishima to finish. Bokuto didn’t even cringe when the acid-like stench began stinging his nostrils. 

Finally the vomiting stopped, and Bokuto switched his rubbing to a firm yet gentle grip on one of Tsukishima’s shoulders as he caught his breath again. 

“You know what, Tsukki?” Bokuto asked, feeling like his cheerful self again. “I bet all the girls you blocked would want to be me so badly right now. Isn’t that funny?” he laughed. 

Tsukishima tsked with amusement, then went quiet for a moment. “Bokuto-san?”

“Yeah?”

Tsukishima flushed the toilet and turned his head over his shoulder to look at him. “Do not tell anyone about this,” he said softly. By the look he gave him, Bokuto could tell he meant this rather strange instruction.

He could do that. He could respect his privacy, because that’s what friends did. 

“‘Kayyy,” he sang, following Tsukishima to the sink where he began washing out his mouth with the water Bokuto had given him. “Are you going to go back to sleep?” Bokuto asked, peeking around Tsukishima’s shoulder while he now retrieved his toothbrush from its holder by the sink. 

Tsukishima nodded feebly. “I feel a lot better now so I think that’ll be best,” he replied as he applied toothpaste to the brush. “You should sleep too. Sorry for keeping you up.”

“But I kind of wanted to know what it’s like now,” Bokuto whined, walking himself through a small circle behind Tsukishima. 

Tsukishima raised his eyebrows at him through the mirror’s reflection. “You do?” he asked through the foam in his mouth. 

Bokuto nodded, a forlorn expression planted on his face. “I won’t be able to stop thinking about it until you tell me,” he said as he approached the counter, setting his elbows on it so he could rest his head in his palms. 

Tsukishima glanced at him skeptically, continuing to brush his teeth for a few more seconds before spitting out his toothpaste into the sink. “Can’t you wait at least until tomorrow?” he asked. 

Bokuto moaned, standing up from his sulking position. Usually he would have pressed on about this, but he knew that Tsukishima might actually be really tired. He didn’t want to keep him up by being a pest. “Fiiiinnee,” he sighed. “But you have to promise you will tell me.”

“I will tell you,” Tsukishima assured. 

“What are we telling each other?” 

Bokuto flinched, not realizing a new person had appeared under the doorframe. Kuroo was awake, and his bedhead hair had returned like an old flame. 

“I want to know what it’s like for Tsukki,” Bokuto said. “But he said he’s gotta tell me later.” He was still visibly upset about waiting now, but he was trying his hardest to hold back from complaining. 

“Oh. You should tell me too, then,” Kuroo noted, giving Tsukishima a quick smile. Then he sniffed. “Did someone puke in here? You guys okay?” he asked. 

“I’m fine, thanks,” Tsukishima sighed before turning to face the group.

“That’s good. Does this happen often?” Kuroo asked with no hesitation. Bokuto was glad he was able to ask the question he’d been dying to ask for the past couple minutes. At least he might be able to learn a little bit now. 

Surprisingly, Tsukishima did not seem bothered by the question, and he replied willingly with a shrug.. “The chemo treatment they use makes me feel really sick, so I guess. The anti-nausea medicine they gave me is only somewhat helpful, plus I ate more than usual today so there’s that.” Though Tsukishima seemed eager to leave before, there was no sign of discomfort or a yearn to go back to bed from his body language. It seemed like everyone was wide awake at this moment now.

“Oh, I get it,” Bokuto gasped wisley. “Since your stomach is already screwed up and stuff, then having that-- what’s it? chemo?-- makes it go all _ehhh? what’s this?? I don’t want it!”_ He said in a gruff voice. 

Tsukishima was cringing at his odd description, but he gave a small shrug. “Sure, I guess.”

Kuroo chuckled. “Very insightful, Bokuto-san.” He looked at Tsukishima. “I apologize if this is a bit of a sensitive subject, but do you miss playing volleyball? Do you miss your life before everything happened?”

Straight into the deep stuff. What else could you expect past midnight? And Kuroo was so good at asking these questions, too. Bokuto was glad he was here now so he wouldn’t have to wait anymore.

Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed at him as if he were in shock, and the other two quietly awaited for him to say something.

“Um… yeah, I do miss it. A lot.” He admitted with a frown. “I’m not really ready for the team to go to nationals without me. It’s not a fun thing to think about.”

Bokuto stayed optimistic. “But what if you can? What if you get better enough to play?” he asked, eyes glimmering with hope. He wished he would have a chance to play against Karasuno and Tsukishima one last time.

Tsukishima shook his head. “Even if that happened, which it probably won’t, I can’t imagine I’d still have the physical ability to play well,” he mumbled, leaning back against the counter.

“I saw footage of your game against Shiratorizawa. You and your teammates have improved immensely,” Kuroo said, attempting to meet Tsukishima’s gaze. “I have no doubt you’ll be able to make an excellent comeback in no time.” 

He was serious about this, Bokuto could tell, and he had every right to be. Bokuto had seen the footage too, and his reaction to it must have been very similar to Kuroo’s. They seemed to be masterminds, especially Tsukishima. Honestly, Bokuto would be terrified to spike against Tsukishima’s wall.

“You’re going to be _awesome_ when you come back, I know it. I’ll be screaming your name so loud during your games that you will get so embarrassed,” Bokuto said, grinning intensely.

Tsukishima let out a single chuckle, smiling sadly at the ground.

“And I will be right next to him doing the exact same thing,” Kuroo assured, giving Tsukishima’s shin a friendly tap with his foot. “If you really are worried about nationals, Tsukki, I’ll make sure to win them for you,” he teased.

Bokuto snorted. “No you won’t. _I’ll_ win them for you, Tsukki. Do not listen to him,” he said, dramatically waving his hand in the air.

Tsukishima raised his gaze to the both of them, a challenging smirk twitching on his lips. “Mark my words, I have faith that Karasuno will drive your asses through the floor. You wanna know why?”

Bokuto and Kuroo glanced at each other, both smirking giddily.

“And why’s that, Mr. Know-it-all?” Kuroo asked, folding his arms over his chest.

“Because there’ll be _two_ Tsukishima’s in the cheer squad. More cheer power makes the team play better, don’t you know?” Tsukishima was full on smirking now, which caused each of them to break out in a brief shared laughter.

Once everything was calm, Kuroo returned to his default smirk. “I guess we will have to see, then. We have a good cheer team too, you know,” he said.

Bokuto bent backwards, breathing in deeply as he did so. “Lame!” he groaned. “Come back when you guys’ have more players like me on your team.”

“You’re funny,” Tsukishima chaffed, pushing himself off of the counter. “I’m tired, but this conversation isn’t over yet. Goodnight,” he said, weaving around Kuroo to get through the door frame.

The two followed in Tsukishima’s steps, Kuroo and Bokuto each returning their goodnights before splitting off for the second time that night. 

Bokuto went to bed feeling completely relaxed and with a content smile on his face. 

Everything was okay. Tsukishima was going to be just fine, and tomorrow was going to be a good day.


	5. Training Camp Reunion (Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akaashi finally arrives to help balance out the group energy, and he even manages to help the others realize something about life.

The next morning Bokuto woke up to a bright bedroom. Light chatter and distant activity alerted him that he’d be one of the last, if not the very last, person to wake up that morning. It was colder than it was when he went to sleep, and if he were at home he wouldn’t hesitate to tug the blankets tightly around him and close his eyes for a while more. Today, though, he had no time to waste.

Bokuto took no extra time to wake up and jumped out of bed, continuing to hop into a pair of sweatpants and marched out the bedroom door. 

Today was going to be a fun day, he remembered as soon as he had opened his eyes. Everyone will be together in just a couple of hours, and as long as everyone was here it was going to be great no matter what they did. Maybe if Tsukishima was feeling up to it they could toss a volleyball around…

Bokuto thought back on the conversation in the bathroom from that night. So many things to take in but it was nice to hear what Tsukishima thought about his life even if it was kind of sad.

It was going to be an interesting nationals this year.

His body still trying to wake itself up, Bokuto trudged down the stairs and stumbled into the kitchen where he’d been tracking the scent of fresh warm food. As soon as he stepped foot into the kitchen he was immediately handed a bowl of mouth-watering tamago-kake-gohan. Bokuto took a hold of it gratefully.

“Good morning, sleepy-head,” Kuroo greeted, grinning widely. It looked as if he had been awake for some time now with his colorful expression and attitude.

“Morning,” Tsukishima said from the dining table a few feet away. He was currently in the process of eating his own food, seeing as he had chopsticks in his hand and a bowl identical to Bokuto’s sitting in front of him.

“Goooood morning!” Bokuto returned brightly, walking over to sit in the seat across from Tsukishima.

“My mom is going to drive us to the train station to pick up Akaashi-san at 11:45,” Tsukishima stated, looking up at Bokuto as he flipped his loose bangs over his forehead (to which they instantly returned over his eyes). “She doesn’t want us walking around in the cold weather.”

“Sounds good to me,” Bukuto said before shoving a wad of rice into his mouth.

He devoured his food quickly, per his usual eating habits, and ended up eating Tsukishima’s half of his food because he claimed to not have an appetite that morning while Bokuto had a huge one that hadn’t been fulfilled yet.

The rest of their time before leaving went by like a breeze, mostly because Tsukishima and Kuroo wanted a chance to shower and Bokuto got a chance to energize himself by humoring the both of them (or vice-versa) while he waited. In no time they were all packed into the Tsukishima family SUV, Tsukishima Kei copped in the passenger seat and the two captains in the back.

“I hope you boys aren’t planning to go outside today,” said Tsukishima’s mother as she drove down the small-town street.

Bokuto could tell how cold it was just by glancing out the window. Compared to yesterday when he and Kuroo had walked down the same blocks together there were a lot less people walking today, and the people that _were_ walking were severely bundled up. Even in the heated car there was not one passenger without both a winter coat and hat on. Bokuto shouldn’t have bothered trying to do his hair this morning.

“That would be quite irresponsible of us, wouldn’t it be?” Kuroo chuckled. He didn’t sound like he was planning to go out in the slightest. 

“Yes, it would be,” Tsukishima-san replied kindly. “You guys will have just as fun inside! It sounded like you all were having a lot of fun yesterday.”

Bokuto smiled with content. It had been some time since he’d gotten a ride from a friend’s mom. In where he resided, anything and everyone he’d ever need was in a doable and sacrificial walking distance through any time of year. It was nice to be in another family’s car for once.

A few minutes later, they were dropped off at the station to be present for Akaashi’s arrival while Tsukishima’s mother waited in the car. Thankfully it was not very long before his train tumbled into the station. 

Per usual, Bokuto was overjoyed to see Akaashi come out of the train— instantly shouting his name when he came into view— and hastily gestured for him to join the group. 

“Everyone’s finally here!” Bokuto exclaimed, stepping aside so Akaashi could enter the small gathering. 

Akaashi nodded. “It’s nice to have everyone back. Especially you, Tsukishima. I missed having someone else who can help me understand these airheads.” 

Tsukishima grinned lightly. “Thanks. I’m glad you’re here too.”

Kuroo cleared his throat. “Actually, Bokuto is the only airhead here,” he corrected. “You can’t call a college-prep student an airhead.” 

Bokuto shoved his fists into his coat pockets as a sharp breeze whipped into his sleeves. The others seemed to shift around in the cold as well, but neither made a move to head back into the warm vehicle. 

“Yes you can,” Tsukishima said. “You’re just a book-smart airhead.”

Kuroo scoffed light heartedly. “And volleyball-smart,” he added. “I have at least two ‘smarts’ so I, by definition, shouldn’t be an airhead.”

“I’m more volleyball-smart than you though, Kuroo,” Bokuto said matter-of-factly. “So I’m not an airhead either. And because I’m also street-smart.”

“No. You are still an airhead though,” Kuroo laughed. 

“Am not! Who walked us here yesterday?”

“After freaking out over the walking instructions for the whole train ride?” 

“And? Plus, I’m _Tokyo_ street-smart.” 

“You’re not even street-smart there!” 

Tsukishima and Akaashi glanced at each other with helpless exasperation.

“Are we going to let them go on as usual?” Tsukishima muttered. 

“Yeah,” Akaashi replied. “How have you been doing?”

Tsukishima snorted. “Depends on the answer you’re looking for.” 

Akaashi looked at him, managing to bring Bokuto and Kuroo’s arguing to a muffle. “Well, no one is really truthful when they answer a question like that, right?”

Tsukishima glanced at him with an unsure expression. “I guess so,” he said. 

The conversation went silent for a moment as the two checked back into the two captain’s childish bickering. Somehow they had moved onto an entirely different subject. Akaashi wondered how they could keep it up in such an odd place like this, or in the freezing weather. He would have broken them apart by now if it weren’t for his objective to hear Tsukishima’s answer. 

“So what’s your answer?” Akaashi asked, fixing his attention back on Tsukishima who now had his lower face tucked into his coat collar. 

He thought about it for a second. “I’m okay. I guess I’m doing better than I was a couple weeks ago, physically and emotionally,” he sighed into his coat. “Still wish things were different.” 

Akaashi shrugged apologetically. “Life is unfair,” he said. Just as he was about to continue speaking, he was interrupted by the loud voice of Bokuto. 

“You hear that, Kuroo?!” Bokuto exclaimed. “Life is unfair, so that’s why you have exploding bed head hair and why I have—“

Kuroo finished his sentence. “—crusty gel hair? Seems like you set yourself up on that one, Owl-kun.” 

Bokuto stomped his foot with frustration as Kuroo giggled to himself, which was when Akaashi decided it was time to call things off and head to the car. 

The ride home was talkative, as expected with Bokuto and Kuroo (conversing happily as if no fighting had gone on minutes before) sitting on the back with Akashi squished into the middle and Tsukishima sitting up front. Both made sure to put in a teasing comment when there was a chance to. 

Upon arriving at the Tsukishima household, the four boys gathered in the living room and sprawled their legs under the kotatsu in dire hopes to warm up their iced muscles. 

As Bokuto struggled to properly shuffle a deck of cards, he listened as the others chatted lightly about what had been going on in Tokyo lately. Although he was a talkative person most of the time, Bokuto enjoyed hearing others speak too. Their conversations seemed more balanced now that Akaashi was here, and it seemed like they could freely talk about any subject without it falling too downhill. 

“You’re about to bend your cards, Bokuto-san,” Akaashi said suddenly. He held out a lazy palm, eyeing the deck. “Let me shuffle the cards.”

Bokuto groaned, letting Akaashi take hold of the deck of UNO cards. Tsukishima was snickering from beside him as Akaashi flawlessly riffled and bridged the cards in his hands. 

“At least I’m good at this game,” Bokuto said, not letting himself lose his confidence just yet. “I know all the strategies.”

Kuroo looked skeptical. “I haven’t played this game in ages, but I would say I’m pretty strategic too,” he said

“I feel like we would all be, really,” Akaashi pointed out as he began to deal the cards. 

“Definitely,” Tsukishima agreed, smiling cockily as he leaned against the couch behind him. “I have a few tricks up my sleeve.”  
  
  


Game three. The first two had gone by quickly, Kuroo being the first win— which everyone, even himself, blamed luck for— and Akaashi being the second. Now it was the peak of the third round, and Bokuto went still with excitement as he watched ‘plus’ cards get added to the trash pile. 

_Plus four on top of plus four on TOP of plus four…_

Yes! This was his chance. 

Bokuto thumbed at his own plus four card in his small fan of cards in his hand. He’d been dying to use it for so long, and it was obvious that the others had been waiting to drop their deathly cards as well.

He giggled to himself as he slowly slid the card from the deck, showing the others that the pile of pick-up cards would have to be taken by someone else. He hovered the card over the middle pile, grinning as he glanced over to the next player.

Tsukishima glared back at him with an expression that read a mixture of surprise, confusion, and disgust. This released a short chuckle from Bokuto who now lowered the card closer to the deck. “Are you mad, Tsukki-chan?”

“You’re really going to give the sick kid all the cards?” Tsukishima asked with a grimace.

Bokuto froze as his soul left his body. 

Was this real? Was this teasing? If it was a joke… was he allowed to laugh?

He felt a bubble of panic arise in his stomach. “What? No- no… I was going to put down something else instead-- actually.” Bokuto was fumbling on his words and his cards. This was not good. He needed to save himself, or someone to save him.

No one else dared to say anything.

“Are you being too careful with me now? I don’t like the idea of being treated differently because I’m sick.” Tsukishima looked disappointed, but there was a sparkle of humor in his eyes. Bokuto-- or the others for that matter-- still held back from laughing.

After a moment of silence Tsukishima slumped down and furrowed his eyebrows at the group. “You guys can laugh, you know,” he said. “Out of all people, I thought you guys would have enjoyed these jokes the most, but I guess not.”

Akaashi was the first to chuckle, then Kuroo, and then Bokuto. It was short lasting, but very relieving of the panicked atmosphere.

“Sorry,” Kuroo sighed, awkwardly feeling the back of his neck. “It feels strange to laugh about someone's pain-- or uh--”

“I made a joke,” Tsukishima said as he scooted himself closer to the table. “It feels worse to not have people laugh at your jokes, don’t you think?” 

Akaashi didn’t hesitate to comment on Tsukishima’s statement. “To be fair you don’t joke around very much, Tsukishima.”

Tsukishima scrunched his face. “I kind of do.”

“Not really,” Bokuto said, now feeling completely relaxed from his recent terror. “You’re just sarcastic and dramatic. It’s not exactly _joking,_ ya know?”

Now he looked visibly upset. “When have I ever been dramatic?” he demanded. 

No one seemed to be holding back from joking around anymore. Kuroo was first to answer. “At the training camp mostly, Mr. _It’s-Just-a-Club_.” His tone was playful with some lighthearted serious depth to it. When it came to Tsukishima, his attitude during the camp was what he remembered the most about him.

Tsukishima seemed jarred by this, and especially more-so when Bokuto slowly slipped the plus four card on top of the deck as he stared into his soul. Keeping a sneer on his face, he learned forward and began collecting his sixteen cards and asked Kuroo, “Did I say that or are you just saying stuff about me?”

“I heard you say it after one of your practices once,” Akaashi said. “But it’s not hard to tell that’s what you thought when we first talked to you.”

Bokuto nodded. He’d been surprised by what Tsukishima had to say about volleyball when he reflected on their conversation later. That guy certainly acted like he very much wanted to and didn’t want to be playing volleyball at the same time. A strange case for sure, but Bokuto had sincerely hoped he wouldn’t quit anytime soon. “I thought your head had been screwed on backwards or something. What kind of a person joins a club only to be sad about it the whole time!” Bokuto exclaimed. 

Tsukishima pressed his lips together. He was still collecting cards as he listened to Bokuto.

“But I knew all you needed was to have that special moment, right?” Bokuto continued happily.

The three watched Tsukishima for his answer. He took a pause to adjust his beanie and his glasses, then silently placed down one of his cards so Kuroo could go. He took in a breath and looked at everyone sitting around the kotatsu. “I’m seriously starting to think that special moment I had at the Shiratorizawa game wasn’t so special,” he admitted under his breath.

Kuroo’s cards had been sitting on his lap for some time now, and so had Akaashi’s. Each of them were gradually forgetting about the game as the conversation went on. “I don’t believe it,” Kuroo said bluntly. “I could feel your enthusiasm from across the screen. A moment like that can’t be denied.”

Bokuto watched Tsukishima. He didn’t look sad or angered by this crisis he was having in his mind, which bothered him quite a bit. He really believed this realization of his to be true.

Tsukishima shrugged. “It’s not that it wasn’t great but--”

“Kei-- Oh! I’m interrupting a game!” 

Tsukishima’s mother. A sweet woman with a warm presence, unfortunately appearing at the wrong time.. 

The boys looked up at her with smiles.

“It’s okay, _kaasan_ ,” Tsukishima assured. “What did you want?”

“I'm going to the store before the weather conditions get bad. Do any of you want anything?” she asked cheerily.

They all shook their heads.

“We’re good,” Tsukishima said. “I’ll text you if we need anything.”

“Okay!” She responded. “I’ll be back in half an hour. Have fun!”

The boys bid their quick goodbyes as Tsukishmia-san disappeared around a wall. Once they heard the front door open and shut, each of them instantly set their eyes back on Tsukishima.

He glanced up from his cards. “Whose turn was it?”

“You were still saying something,” Akaashi said. 

There was no way of escaping Akaashi. If he wanted to hear from you, he will. It seemed like Tsukishima had that idea because he placed his stack of cards back on the tabletop and exhaled with defeat. 

“What were you going to say?” Bokuto asked, bouncnig his knee impatiently. 

Tsukishima gave him a warning glance which didn’t change his attitude at all. He did stay quiet while he regathered his thoughts, however. 

“When I blocked Ushijima-san’s serve, I felt like I had accomplished something incredible for once,” he explained, setting his chin in his palm. "Like I took a massive step forward in my journey with volleyball."

“It’s still a great accomplishment, Tsukki,” Kuroo said, looking at him intently. 

“I know, but I don’t think it counts for very much now that I have cancer,” Tsukishima replied. 

Akaashi frowned slightly. “Explain, please.” 

Tsukishima curled his palm into a fist and stared into the near distance. “I don’t need my big accomplishments to have bitter-sweet memories attached to them. It makes me kind of—“ he checked back into the group, mentally preparing himself for what he wanted to say next “—terrified to have something else good happen in my life.”

Wow. 

For the first time in a while, Bokuto’s mind was running slowly, like his thoughts were covered in dried molasses. He’d never thought about anything in that way before. Of course there were many many times in volleyball where he would be upset and feel like he’d never succeed again, but never had he put his thoughts into words like that. This seemed like a different kind of sad compared to his own “emo episodes”. 

When no one had said anything for a good moment, Tsukishima pushed himself off the table and sat up straight. Bokuto had never seen anyone look so red yet so pale. 

“Sorry about that. Let’s keep playing,” Tsukishima said dismissively. 

“Tsukishima,” Akaashi began.

Bokuto recognized the face he was making. The face that was always followed by a string of blessed words. Whether it be one sentence or twenty, full of passion or blunt, Akaashi was going to make Tsukishima think outside the box. 

“It can get a lot worse than this, you know.” Akaashi seemed to be tearing at Tsukishima with his stare. “If you keep this mindset up your entire life, you’re going to be very disappointed the whole time.”

Bokuto was lost. This didn’t seem very encouraging to him at all. More depressing actually. Where was Akaashi going with this?

“It’s fine, though,” Tsukishima replied with a shrug. “It can’t be helped either way. We should keep playing--"

Kuroo perked up at this. “Tsukki, if it gets bad either way, then what’s the point trying to not have a good time?”

Bokuto was getting this now. “Oh yeah!” he breathed, dropping his cards onto the floor. His eyes were wide with realization, and Akaashi gave him a soft, knowing smile. “It’s like me when I play volleyball," he started.

Bokuto fell back first onto the floor as he continued. “Sometimes I get really sad, and then I don’t feel like playing because I think I’m going to do a bad job,” he explained to the ceiling.

“BUT!” Bokuto shouted before jumping on his feet. “When I get cheered up, I get really _really_ happy.” He widened his gaze at Tsukishima who stared back with a dumbfounded expression. “I think I play better after being sad instead of just going into the game to play,” he said thoughtfully. "So maybe it's actually better to be sad then be happy."

“It doesn’t work like that in real life,” Tsukishima argued.

Kuroo snorted. “Who told you that? Yourself?”

Tsukishima scowled.

He persisted. “Sorry, but I don’t believe you can predict the future. Is your life going to be bad all the time?” Kuroo asked, cocking his head at him.

“I didn’t say that.”

Kuroo pursed his lips. This conversation was going the right way, just as he’d hoped. “You kind of did, though.”

Tsukishima looked frustrated now, and he didn’t respond.

“If you always find yourself coming back to the beginning, what’s there to lose by trying?” Akaashi asked.

Tsukishima’s expression softened. There was a dull, but present shine growing in his eyes. "Well, this game, first of all,” he grumbled.

“That’s probably true,” Bokuto said as he situated himself back under the kotatsu. “There’s probably a billion things you have to lose, but you know what you will never lose, Tsukki-chan?”

Tsukishima winced. “What…?”

“Us!” Bokuto exclaimed, throwing his hands out. 

Kuroo grinned. “Absolutely. We’re not going to let you be brought down, Tsukki. We will not allow it,” he said sternly, placing a hand upon Tsukishima’s shoulder.

“I will kick your ass if you purposely try and be sad,” Akaashi muttered, a teasing smirk growing on his face. 

“We will kick your ass as a team,” Bokuto assured.

“And then we’ll force you to have fun like we did at the training camp," Kuroo added.

Tsukishima suppressed a smile, ducking out of Kuroo’s grip. “I don’t know how I feel about that,” he said.

Bokuto grinned. “Don’t be upset!” He encouraged. “Because then you’ll be breaking the rules and we will have to go at you for it,” he giggled.

Tsukishima rolled his eyes, then compiled. “Fine. But please don’t break me though, my medical expenses are already through the roof.”

Without hesitation, the room was animated carefree laughter. The gloomy atmosphere was rapidly returning to it's uplifting state.

After a few more minutes of heartfelt conversation, they went back to finishing the round of UNO. Tsukishima didn’t win, but he won the next round and the next one and nearly won the last one. 

Everyone learned something new that day.

That moment during the UNO match was the deepest their conversation got that day. Soon enough, each of them returned to their regulated moods and nature. There was no awkwardness when Tsukishima attempted another joke during lunch, and Kuroo managed to add more to the joke in a humorous way. Apparently Tsukishima’s friends _(?)_ and family other than his brother disliked it when he made jokes, so it was “like a breath of fresh air” being able to kid around with those three.

Before Akaashi had to leave, the group hung out in Tsukishima’s room and simply talked and had a good time. It truly was a nice feeling being able to relive the presence of the others since the training camp. The four of them hadn’t collectively met up since that summer, so it was exciting to just chat and laugh together. Their conversations flowed smoothly and energetically with each of their personalities. They had barely realized that over an hour had passed and all they had done was played UNO and talked. None of them cared, as they day seemed fulfilled.

They finished off by browsing YouTube for obscure videos, each of them taking turns in showcasing their weirdest videos to the group. Knowing Akaashi had to leave after and then Kuroo and Bokuto was beginning to feel intensely bittersweet. 

The ride back to the station was more on the quiet side. Each of them were beginning to get worn out from the constant conversing. Even Bokuto didn’t have much to bring up aside from goofy remarks on random passersby.

Once again, the group stood out in the freezing cold as they awaited Akaashi’s train. Bokuto --whose hair now seemed to be stamped to his forehead-- with his hands stuffed into his pockets, was grinning into the blue sun. 

“This was really fun,” Bokuto sighed, a small cloud dispersing from his lips as he did so.

“It was fun,” Kuroo agreed, stretching an arm over his shoulder. “You guys are fun to hang out with.”

Tsukishima, though looking exhausted from the day’s activities, stood tall with a content expression on his face. “Thanks for coming, Akaashi-san. I appreciate it. A lot.”

Akaashi returned a sly smile. “So would you say you had a good time?”

Tsukishima put on a poker-face. “You better not say _‘I told you so’_.”

Akaashi softened. “I don’t say stuff like that. I just let people find out themselves.”

Bokuto nodded. “He’s right, Tsukki-chan. But I will say _‘I told you so’_ if you want,” he chuckled.

Kuroo laughed, and Tsukishima cringed. “Please don’t.”

Bokuto grinned. “Okay,” he said.

On cue, the sound of a train began to sound in the near distance. Akaashi put on a serious face.

“Please call if you need anything, Tsukishima,” he said with intent.

Kuroo and Bokuto were quick to agree, each of them welcoming Tsukishima to hit them up if he wanted to. 

The train began to rumble into the station.

Tsukishima stared at each of them a few seconds before nodding. “I will.”

“I’m glad,” Kuroo said, stepping into the group. He spread out his arms.

Without pause, the rest of the group put their arms around each other's shoulders as if it were a small before-game team huddle. Inside the huddle, each of them were beaming at each other.

“We shall do this again soon, my friends,” Kuroo said quietly.

“Yes!” Bokuto cheered, tightening his grip on Akaashi and Tsukishima’s shoulders. “After we win nationals,” he said as he shared a glance with his teammate.

Kuroo and Tsukishima scoffed then leaned away from the huddle.

“We’ll see about that,” Tsukishima said.

Kuroo smirked as the train slowed a stop at the station, causing a cool gust of wind to blow over his face. “You guys better be saying your prayers.”

“Right,” Akaashi chuckled, gradually backing away from the group. “Bye. Don’t forget our agreement.”

Tsukishima snorted, smiling under his coat collar. “Goodbye, Akaashi-san.”  
  
  


That night, Bokuto was able to fall asleep quickly. The day left him with nothing extra to think about. Everything that happened made sense. Akaashi never failed to teach him something new almost every time he interacted with him. He was going to miss this day, he was sure of it, but for now he had to live in the good moment before it was over. Plus, there were going to be many more great things coming his way that he had to look forward to.

He hoped it was the same for Tsukishima.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for pushing three weeks for updating again. Spent quite a bit of time on my finals and only got a spike of inspiration to finish up this chapter a couple days ago. I have a feeling I'll get to shorter schedule now that I'm not stuck on one setting!
> 
> Akaashi is a smart dude, don't you think? Hopefully his words will be enough.
> 
> Anything you want to see happen next? I love hearing suggestions from you all.  
> Thanks for reading!


	6. Silence is Not Good For Yamaguchi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pressure of being one of Tsukishima's closest supports creeps up on Yamaguchi while he goes to visit him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lil angst for you angst lovers today. 
> 
> Content Warning: Vomit and mentions of vomit

Days like this have been typical for Yamaguchi since the diagnosis, more so after Tsukishima’s week-long hospital stay a month into his treatment. There was no doubt that early-October Yamaguchi would have fainted at the idea of being present on dreadful days like this. Now he could power through Tsukishima’s post-chemo session days with a smile and as much enthusiasm as he needed to make sure his buddy was having a good time. He will admit, it was hard to find something to do with each passing cycle. Every three weeks Tsukishima had a cycle of chemo and each time the effects were moderately worse than the previous sessions which made it difficult for Yamaguchi to plan ahead of time. He learned to just show up and be his best self he could be for his sick friend. 

It was a couple days after Christmas that Yamaguchi came to visit, and he had brought a few things he had gotten in hopes to bring up Tsukishima’s spirits a little. He was a good listener, keeping his tired eyes on Yamaguchi as he charismatically showcased his new volleyball knee pads (which Tsukishima hadn’t decided to poke fun of like he did to Kageyama’s gift exchange when the team had met up on the 24th) and his brand new crewneck from New York a family friend had given him. 

Just as Yamaguchi expected, Tsukishima’s energy was quick to run out and he fell asleep only fifteen minutes into his visit. Now he was left in silence in Tsukishima's bedroom, sitting in a beanbag chair as he waited for him to wake back up. He entertained himself for as long as he could until he was reminded of his strong dislike of the silence.

Yamaguchi peered up from one of Tsukishima’s previously shelved mangas he was reading and dazed at the sleeping boy from across the room. The atmosphere was so strange when Tsukishima was asleep. The air in the room seemed thicker and warmer, yet it felt light as it entered his lungs. Noises like airflow and Tsukishima’s breathing could be heard clearly.

Yamaguchi watched as Tsukishima’s blanket rose and fell under his breaths. It was a sight he was used to, and he didn’t like that he was used to it. A sight like this was easily comparable to what he saw during his long hospital stays. He couldn’t possibly have gotten numb to this so quickly. Reading manga didn’t seem possible with these intruding thoughts. 

Though it was a natural task for Yamaguchi to keep his spirits up for his friend, it was hard to be optimistic when he was alone. _“You’ll be better in no time, Tsukki!” “You’re much stronger than cancer, I know it!”_ were things he’s said. He truly believed it at the time, but moments later when he wasn’t keeping a conversation, he would think back on the things he had said and compare it to the truth of Tsukishima’s situation. The truth was this was awful and unbearable, and he had to put on his best face and make it through the sickness so Tsukishima could too.

A new thought popped in his head as Tsukishima stirred in his sleep. Yamaguchi had completely forgotten about the book in his hands as he floated back into his headspace.

He didn’t do this just for Tsukishima but for everyone else too. His teammates, his coaches, Tsukishima’s family. Yamaguchi was the one everyone relied on to keep Tsukishima in place because that’s what he had always done. He had always been the one to encourage him to show up to practice, to become his better self, to push himself into engaging in happier experiences. Now it was up to Yamaguchi to keep Tsukishima on his feet as he prowled through this ugly disease. 

Yamaguchi's upper lip vibrated. This silence was upsettingly loud. He couldn’t count how many times these thoughts had run through his mind. He was sick of hearing them in all honesty. They only made him sad. He wasn’t allowed to be sad. Not now. Tsukishima couldn’t find out that he wanted to cry for himself. He wished he was awake so his bad thoughts would take their leave. 

Before anything else could happen Yamaguchi exited the room and replaced his sad thoughts with something happy. Being happy was so important. 

He spent some time talking with Akiteru. As always Akiteru was happy to have him visiting, and he was glad he could catch up with Yamaguchi during his winter vacation. 

Yamaguchi had always liked speaking with Akiteru. He was very good at bringing his pounding thoughts to a mute and keeping a good conversation flowing. It was nice having another talkative and comforting person to talk to during a difficult time. But of course Akiteru eventually had plans to get to and Yamaguchi was left alone in his silence again.

This time Yamaguchi was able to be on guard, and he was quick to stop himself from thinking too much about the negatives as he sat and waited. He had always been good about keeping his chill until he got home when he spent a rough day with Tsukishima. Even though the bad thoughts persisted stronger and stronger each time he locked them away, as long as they were being saved for another time he would be able to pull his temporary enthusiasm off again. 

For the last half hour of Tsukishima being asleep Yamaguchi busied himself with his phone and his earbuds, drowning out the sounds of any leftover thoughts with music. He was curled up against the beanbag half asleep when Tsukishima had woken up. Yamaguchi noticed his rousing quickly and sat himself up, pulling his earbuds out from his ears as he did so.

“Hey, Tsukki,” he greeted warmly, grinning at his friend who squinted back at him.

Not lifting his head from the pillow, Tsukishima grabbed his glasses from his bedside table, slid them on his face, and returned a soft greeting. “Hey, Yamaguchi.”

Yamaguchi, in all of his brightness, giggled and scooted off the bag to sit nearer to Tsukishima. ”Did you notice you fell asleep with your glasses again? I took them off for you.”

Tsukishima was always the type to save his own feelings and needs for the last minute-- sleeping, eating, sometimes even using the toilet. It had never become much of an issue for him since it wasn’t like he was forcing himself to do those things, it’s just how Tsukishima had always been.

“Oh, thanks,” Tsukishima said before releasing a short wake-up yawn. “I don’t need my glasses breaking.” He glanced away from Yamaguchi for a moment, noticing his earbuds plugged into the phone that was lying on the ground. “What were you listening to?”

“A band called _ZHIEND._ I think you’ve listened to them before,” Yamaguchi replied. 

Even a nice long nap couldn’t build up nearly enough energy for Tsukishima to give a quick response. Yamaguchi kept his smile composed.

Tsukishima raised an eyebrow at him. “ZHIEND? I didn’t know you liked them,” he muttered half into his pillow.

Yamaguchi shrugged. “I thought I should branch out a little.”

Tsukishima gave a brief hum in reply. 

Yamaguchi smiled a little softer as a calmer silence ensued the atmosphere. This mutual silence wasn’t unusual, and Yamaguchi didn’t mind it. Silence with another was much much better than silence by himself. 

He glanced at the time. “Are you up to having a snack or something? It’s been a while since you’ve last eaten,” Yamaguchi noted.

Tsukishima scrunched his nose. “No. But feel free to take something from Tanaka-san and Nishinoya-san’s box. I still have some stuff left over,” he offered. 

Yamughic smirked goofily. “Come on. Don’t make me eat by myself! That’s awkward.” This was more of an encouragement rather than his actual feelings. Everything about this cancer stuff, the symptoms, the chemo and its side effects, made Tsukishima’s eating habits much worse than they were previous to when he got the diagnosis. If Yamaguchi wanted to, he was usually able to persuade Tsukishima into eating something when the time came for it.

“Maybe later,” Tsukishima said before swallowing a breath.

Another thing Yamaguchi had gotten good at when it came to Tsukishima was reading his face or body movements to foretell future events. He could do it before, and now he had really familiarized himself with Tsukishima’s gestures and expressions when he didn’t feel well. Judging from his current expression, Tsukishima likely woke up nauseated again which wasn’t surprising. The times he did feel the most sick was after some sort of rest, so Yamaguchi was quick to stay on alert in case anything happened. 

Tsukishima flipped onto his back, letting their conversation go quiet. 

Yamaguchi frowned absently. He didn’t like the idea of being so naturalized to this behavior. He should be surprised about this, or begging to help Tsukishima. He didn’t like that he had a protocol for a situation like this. Quickly, he mentally kicked that thought away and climbed onto his feet. 

“Let’s get some airflow in here,” Yamaguchi said, ever so slightly cracking open Tsukishima’s bedroom window (the snow outside seemed to be sticking well!). “It’s a bit stuffy.” 

Tsukishima likely knew what Yamaguchi was thinking about at that moment, and Yamaguchi knew that he knew this. They had this unspoken mutual agreement to avoid speaking about how the other felt unless it was personally brought up by said person or if it was unavoidable to beat around. It’s how it has always been. If one felt as if the other wasn’t doing good mentally or physically, they would more often than not try their best to cheer up or help in ways that _didn’t_ involve talking about the situation directly. Maybe it was an unhealthy thing to do but it seemed to be working so far, especially since Yamaguchi never knew what to say and Tsukishima didn’t like to express himself often. It wasn't like they avoid not talking at all costs... their little thing just worked (for the most part). 

“Thanks,” Tsukishima mumbled before giving a quick squeeze at the side of his mattress. No doubt this guy wasn’t feeling well. Yamaguchi immediately scanned his mind for a way to help him out.

At the hospital, Yamaguchi had learned that Tsukishima enjoyed hearing him speak about something lighthearted to ease the stress. He would never listen completely, and Yamaguchi would end up having to repeat himself after Tsukishima felt a bit better, but he had noticed that the sound of his happy flowing voice made Tsukishima’s eyebrows furrow a little less and his muscles to untense a bit more. His mind buzzed loudly as he thought of any exciting yet uninteresting topic to talk about.

“There’s this dog across the street…”

Tsukishima glanced at him. Yamaguchi twisted his mouth into a thin smile. Think happy, not bad.

“I think he’s new to the block. He reminds me a lot of an old man. He’s got a huge beard and a gnarly set of eyebrows,” Yamaguchi chuckled.

So many people were counting on him. He needed to keep talking. He needed to help.

“But--uh-- he barked at me a lot on the way here. I think he wanted to chase me,” he laughed.

Tsukishima still looked unwell, and Yamaguchi paused, wondering if he was taking the right path by just babbling on. Probably so, Tsukishima wasn’t a heart-to-heart _“I-care-about-you”_ kind of guy, especially not in this state.

“He was outside by himself too. I wonder where his owner was...”

Yamaguchi wasn’t really listening to his own voice either. He had to remember that it wasn’t Tsukishima that was counting on him to help, but the others around him. Maybe he should try to actually help even if Tsukishima didn’t like it…

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi whispered, gingerly sitting up on his knees. “Could you possibly sit up? …Or roll over at least?” he added in a quieter tone.

Tsukishima responded with a low moan. “Keep talking about that dog,” he mumbled.

Yamaguchi chewed on his inner lip. His mind wanted to do and say so many different things that his head felt crowded. So much for him being to handle this by himself.

No. This wasn’t the time for thoughts like this.

“I’ll keep talking about the dog if you sit up,” Yamaguchi insisted. He made sure to offer his regular grin while saying that.

Tsukishima exhaled. “Pardon me…”

Yamaguchi reacted calmly, standing up then handing Tsukishima an empty trash bin as he propped himself up on an elbow. Again, this change of events didn’t move him in the slightest.

The action came and went by so fast. Tsukishima would vomit, Yamaguchi would stand by as he held his forehead up with the palm of his hand. Neither of them said a word-- not like there was much to say otherwise, each of them were busy with their own things. Yamaguchi was hoping and praying he would stop between each retch, and within every surge he had to reassure himself that this was good for Tsukishima. Perhaps his mind had let the moment go by fast, because Yamaguchi soon realized that his hands were getting tired and Tsukishima was saying something to him.

Keeping a hand reached over Tsukishima’s back, Yamaguchi lowered his other hand off of Tsukishima's forehead and gave him a tissue from the bedside table. “What did you say, Tsukki?” he asked.

“I said,” Tsukishima picked the blanket off of his body and sat upright, holding the puke-bin on his lap, “this throwing-up-all-the-time thing makes me want to trip off a cliff,” he muttered as he stood to his feet and began walking out of his bedroom.

Yagmaguchi laughed unsteadily, stepping into the center of his room. “You don’t mean that though, right?” he asked.

He glanced back at him, and then walked away to go deposit the contents in the bowl. 

In the past, Yamaguchi never found it hard to discern Tsukishima’s tone of sarcasm, to know if he meant what he said or if he was being comically dramatic. But as time went on, it recently became harder to go along with Tsukishima’s perturbing remarks. 

Yamaguchi’s skull felt like a boulder sitting upon his shoulders; the floor under him surely would give out at any moment. His mental rubber band had been tugged on for far too long. 

Daring to move, Yamaguchi turned his back towards the door and dropped onto his knees. His teeth were chattering and the corners of his eyes stung. It was almost like he wanted to cry but simply could not.

He stared at a bottle of pills sitting upon Tsukishima’s short bookshelf across from him. Yamaguchi’s chest tightened, then he choked on an unproductive sob. His face flushed with anger.

This was pathetic. He would never be able to live up to this heavenly best friend everyone wanted him to be. Yamaguchi hated-- no, despised-- the fact that most people could do better at keeping Tsukishima’s thoughts in check. He tried so hard, so so hard, to help but to no avail. 

Yamaguchi slammed a fist into his thigh, then twice more until his leg hurt more than his chest.

What the heck? No wonder he’d been failing so hard. What in the world was he doing pitying himself at a time like this? People were still counting on him whether he liked it or not.

Yamaguchi bent forward, tugging the ends of his long hair. What? Was he going to cry or not? Why was this so hard?!

Thought after thought began to punch his mind ruthlessly causing him to seethe even more. This awful feeling could be compared to his early-pregame anxiety episodes, or what happened for the first weeks of Tsukishima’s diagnoses. The only difference was that there was no cry, and he was angry for a reason he couldn’t pinpoint.

Yamaguchi sat upright and sucked in a deep breath into his fragile lungs. Though his mind continued to swim rapidly, he desperately slapped his hands against his clammy cheeks in hopes to snap himself out of whatever this was.

_They’re all counting on you…_

Slap. Slightly harder than last time.

_“Oh, you poor thing.” Come on, do you expect anyone to feel bad for you?_

Slap.

_You failed again today. Figures. Go home._

Slap. Slap. _Just cry already, get it over with before he returns._ Slap. Slap--

Yamaguchi choked as he was suddenly yanked on his feet by the neck of his sweater. He fumbled on his feet as he pitfully faced Tsukishima who was glaring at him.

“The hell are you doing?” Tsukishima demanded. They both were frozen except for Yamaguchi's hand, feeling the front of his neck where his sweater had pulled on his skin.

“I didn’t want you to see that…” Yamaguchi whispered. His voice was quiet and airy against the constant thumping in his headspace.

Tsukishima continued to glare, observing Yamaguchi as he struggled to keep eye contact. “Were you crying?” he more-or-less asked.

Yamaguchi gritted his teeth. “No,” he replied. He wished he could, to get rid of the growing rawness in the back of his throat and the tension in his chest. A chronic cryer unable to cry when he wanted to most.

“Are you lying?”

He looked at Tsukishima. “No.”

Tsukishima’s expression softened as he encountered a realization. “Oh. Are you upset with what I said before?”

Finally. A tear. Just one. Quickly trailing down his right cheekbone. He whipped his head away and wiped it with the cuff of his sleeve.

“It’s not that,” Yamaguchi rasped quietly.

_Stop crying you idiot._

_Isn’t this what you wanted?_

_You’re ruining everything._

“Can you hear me?” Tsukishima asked.

“Huh?”

“Can you please tell me what’s wrong? I feel like this is my fault,” he pleaded.

Yamaguchi was sent into a fit of short-lasting panic. “No no no! You didn’t do anything, okay? This is my fault. I’m sorry for making you worry. I’m so so sorry for everything.”

“Woah, hey,” Tsukishima interrupted quickly. He seemed just as alarmed as Yamaguchi was. “Stop that, okay? Sit down, at least,” he said.

Yamaguchi didn’t even have a chance to say no, as Tsukishima was already pulling his arm towards his bed. He waited patiently as Yamaguchi gathered whatever was left of his thoughts.

Tsukishima began breathing deeply; Yamaguchi followed, and everything became clearer-- although he still felt like he wanted to cry. One tear didn’t give him any sort of relief. 

“Um--” Yamaguchi pressed his lips together. Tsukishima was expecting an explanation. He wasn’t sure how to explain, or even begin.

“What were you apologizing for before?” Tsukishima asked, encouraging the conversation to begin. “When you said ‘for everything’?”

Yamaguchi kept eye contact. “It’s… I feel like I could be better.”

Tsukishima frowned. “What do you mean ‘better’?”

He gave a frustrated sigh. None of his thoughts made sense to him anymore. “I just don’t think I’ve been doing my best lately. I wish I could be more like Suga, or Hinata.”  
  
Tsukishima didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say anything weird. I--”

“Yamaguchi. Shut up.”

“Sorry.”

Tsukishima exhaled. “I still think this is my fault.”

Yamaguchi shook his head. “No. Everyone’s relying on me, I know it. I can tell. If anything goes wrong it will be my fault,” he said. The tension in his chest was beginning to ease, but in no positive manner. The more his chest loosened up, the more tears pooled at the corners of his eyes. He was no longer angry. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling now. 

He took a shuddering breath. “I just want to be enough for everyone. Including you.”

“You’ve been enough since the day I met you.”

Two more tears. Hot and slimy against his skin.

“I’m serious. I don’t expect anything more out of you, or anyone actually,” Tsukishima continued, urging Yamaguchi to look at him again by gripping his slender shoulders.

Yamaguchi obliged, ignoring how distorted his face felt at that moment. “I want you to have the best,” he mumbled. He was crying, very slowly, but a constant stream remained now.

Tsukishima lowered his hands on his lap. “Yamaguchi, I don’t care for the ‘best’ kind of stuff. I certainly don’t deserve it anyway, and I’m okay with that.” He peered at Yamaguchi as he wiped his face with his sleeve. “Just be real. As long as you’re being real _you’re doing a lot better than half of the people who talk to me nowadays,”_ he said quietly.

Yamaguchi dipped his head down. He couldn’t believe he had to be told this. Everything Tsukishima said made sense. He sniffed. “I gotta stop overthinking everything,” he mumbled, laughing unhomorously.

Tsukishima learned forward and wrapped his arms around Yamaguchi’s torso, bringing him close to his chest. “Yeah, you do,” he sighed.

Yamaguchi hugged back, letting a few more loose tears fall against Tsukishima’s sweatshirt. He could tell it hadn’t been changed for over a day, but it didn’t matter. All he wanted to do now was close his eyes and relax.

“Please don't become like Hinata. I beg of you,” Tsukishima grumbled.

Yamaguchi giggled despite his aching chest. He breathed in the last of his tears.

“Or like Suga-san,” he continued in a soft lively voice. “I don’t need a third mother hanging around.”

“I can become Kageyama if you’d like,” Yamaguchi said.

Tsukishima shoved him off playfully. “No way. He’d probably throw hands if you tried to take away his king spot, which you _will not_ do.”

Yamaguchi’s heart was beating regularly in his chest, and each breath felt like refreshing ice against his burnt chest. But most of all, the intense mental pressure had subdued magnificently. The only person who needed to count on him was Tsukishima, who Yamaguchi apparently was and had always been “just enough for”. That was incredibly relieving to learn.

He smiled at Tsukishima who had situated his back to rest against his pillows. “Who said I won’t? Maybe playing King will help you feel better.”

Tsukishima gave his thigh a light shove with his foot. “Gross. I’m going to throw up again,” he retorted with a grimace.

Yamaguchi chuckled, then slid to the floor to give his friend some space. He leaned back and pulled the beanbag chair close to the bed so he could stay near and chat. “What would you do if you were king of the world?” Yamaguchi asked curiously.

“I’d throw up,” Tsukishima responded instantly, rolling onto his side so he could face Yamaguchi.

“Okay.” Yamaguchi rolled his eyes. “What about after that?”

“I would get Kageyama to become my jester,” Tsukishima said. “Or my servant. Maybe Hinata, too.”

Yamaguchi chuckled with amusement. “What about me?”

“I dunno.” Tsukishima said, reaching down to turn on his heated blanket. “I’d keep you around to keep me sane. Who knows if kings are allowed to have friends though.” He shrugged, blinking heavily.

Yamaguchi leaned back against the beans. “Kageyama’s friends with Hinata,” he pointed out.

“Is he?” Tsukishima questioned, to which Yamaguchi replied, “Sometimes…”

Tsukishima wrapped an arm under his pillow. “Maybe they can’t be friends because Kageyama is a king. So if I would be king, even for a day, I’d give my spot to someone else,” he decided. “Of course, after making Kageyama do a little jig for me,” he added.

Yamaguchi giggled, then nodded happily. If Tsukishima’s words from before weren’t enough for Yamaguchi, this answer to his silly question would have done the trick for sure. A peaceful warmth came over him. Everything was alright. 

“I would do the same too,” Yamaguchi agreed. “Maybe I wouldn’t make Kageyama do that, though...”

“Not even for me?”

Yamaguchi pretended to think about it. “Only because you helped me today.”

“You helped me today too,” Tsukishima said. “So it evens out. But still get Kageyama to be my jester if you become king.”

“I didn’t help you _that_ much,” Yamaguchi argued, folding his arms over his chest.

“You definitely did,” he pressed on. “I would have been overly depressed and feeling sorry for myself all day if it weren’t for your persistent-- entertaining-- chatter. _And_ you made puking a bearable experience,” he added, lifting a hand to adjust his frames.

Yamaguchi pouted. “You said you basically wanted to off yourself after you puked though,” he said. The memory was no longer bitter and hurtful to him. It was almost funny now. Crazy how things like that change in a matter of time.

Tsukishima shook his head. “No. I said ‘puking-all-the-time’, not that one specific time I did,” he explained matter-of-factly.

Snorting, Yamaguchi got up for a moment to shut the window. It was getting colder and colder by the minute. He fell back onto the chair. “You still said it after,” he insisted.

“Whatever, I take it back, alright? You’re a very good vomit-buddy,” he teased with a straight face.

Yamaguchi cringed. “Thanks, I think…”

“And you’re an amazing post-chemo buddy. The best, possibly. Unless it’s Kageyama dancing at my feet, you don’t owe me anything,” Tsukishima persisted. 

Yamaguchi let out a defeated groan. “Fiiinne,” he sighed. He’d get him some day. He didn’t doubt that Tsukishima meant what he said about him feeling like he didn’t owe him anything, but Yamaguchi wanted to return the favor when the time came. It would be a miracle to find Tsukishima in a comparable state though… Maybe Yamaguchi had to accept that they were even in the sense of helping each other out.

He kicked his feet up on Tsukishima’s bed frame. “Did I ever finish telling you about your neighbor’s dog?” he asked.

“He chased you around?” Tsukishima asked, pulling his blanket up to his shoulder. “That’s funny. His name is Bowser, like the Nintendo character.”

Yamaguchi opened his mouth. “Why didn’t you warn me about him before?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“He’s been nice to me before,” Tsukishima replied. “But I think it’s kind of funny that you got chased around,” he said, proceeding to laugh gently into his pillow.

Yamaguchi couldn’t hold back from laughing as well. “I guess so. It was super scary at the time though!” he exclaimed.

“I bet it was,” Tsukishima said, sighing softly.

Yamaguchi’s stomach rumbled. It had been some time since he’d last eaten. “I don’t suppose you could go for a snack right now.”

Tsukishima cringed. “Not really.” Then his face relaxed. “But if you positively cannot eat without me then I could go for some miso. I've got to eat at some point, I guess.”

Yay! Another chance to be there for Tsukishima, and this time he would force himself to not worry about anything because that’s how it should be. He leapt to his feet and placed his fists on his hips.

“Don’t move a muscle then!” Yamaguchi declared. “I’ll be back soon with soup in no time.”

Tsukishima gave a charmed smile. “Okay then. I’ll be waiting,” he said.

“Good,” Yamaguchi stated. “You’re the only one allowed to wait on me now!” 

With that, he turned on the balls of his feet and strolled out of the bedroom.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three weeks again!!! Arggg I wish my schedule wasn't so spread out. Guess we'll just have to see how the rest of posting is going to go.
> 
> Nationals is just around the corner in case you have forgotten!!! Hurray! Hopefully Karasuno will push through without their tallest crow on the court.  
> Thanks for reading again!


	7. Elephant Provocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite their social differences, there is one thing Kei and Akiteru could relate to. Being awful at addressing the giant elephants sitting on each other’s shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cheers for earlier update! I was so inspired this week, and today's chapter is a tad longer than usual. I guarantee it will be worth the extra minutes of reading...

The following week before nationals passed by fairly easily for Kei. Finally feeling more like himself-- for lack of a better term-- three days after Yamaguchi’s visit, he was able to mentally prepare himself to go and watch his former-- also, for lack of a better term-- team kick it off on “Little Giant’s Court!!!”, as Hinata called it. Though it was hard to complete such a task when some insane person decided to make a rather cool-looking highlight reel of the team’s accomplishments over the past season. Kei was glad that the video was hyping his teammates up, but he couldn’t bear to watch the video for a second time without feeling sick to his stomach.

But, he had to keep his hopes up for his team. He said this before to Kuroo and Bokuto, and he would say it again so he could believe it himself. A good team plays better with a good cheering squad, which he had dedicated himself to being when he was told not to play volleyball anymore. He even knocked up the courage to send Narita a text saying, _Keep up the good work. You’ll be great._ and he wasn’t even that upset when sending it.

In all honesty things were starting to look up a little compared to his mental state within the last couple of months. Kei was good at training his brain not to think about himself being on the court so he could enjoy the games when the time came for it. The team merch and thundersticks Kiyoko and Yachi had gifted to him and his brother helped lighten up his heart immensely as well.

So now came the fourth of January, one day before the Spring Interhigh would begin, the day Karasuno and most fans, including Kei, would leave for Tokyo. Sat on his floor, he zipped up his duffle bag and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

**_From Akaashi:_ **

_We’ll be playing Eiwa in the sub-arena during Karasuno’s game. I hope our teams get a chance to play together :)_

_Bokuto says he wants to send you a text_

_Heyyyyyy!!!! --love, Bokuto *heart emoji*_

**_From Koganegawa:_ **

_GOOD LUCK TO YOUR TEAM DUDE!!! we are all rooting for u B)_

**_From Yamaguchi:_ **

_On our way to the hotel!! Not sure where we are staying but everyone thinks it’s going to be big._

_Coach Ukai says you’re welcome to bunk with the team if you’re up for it! Just let me know_

Sheesh. Kei certainly wasn’t used to a lot of attention, at least when it came to his text messages. At most he would have usually expected a couple of messages and maybe a few odd more from the team group-chat (which he had soon left on his own accord). Ever since this whole cancer thing, people were beginning to reach out more and more. And it wasn’t like a pity thing (sometimes it was), so although he didn’t despise it, getting used to frequent texts was a struggle for him. 

As he typed up a quick ‘thanks’ to Kogane (apparently Kei’s number had been floating around the prefecture lately), a rhythmic double knock sounded on his door followed by Akiteru entering, his own luggage bag slung over his shoulder.

Akiteru grinned at him. “Ready to go?”

Kei looked up at him. A strange surge of excitement shuddered throughout his insides. “Yeah. I’ll be down in a couple minutes,” he answered, turning his attention back towards his phone.

**_To Yamaguchi:_ **

_Okay. I’ll think about it._

_Have a nice trip_

After pocketing his phone, Kei pushed himself to his feet and lifted the bag to his shoulders. The weight was more uncomfortable than usual, and it wasn’t like he had packed extra since the rallying items replaced the stuff he’d bring if he was playing. 

Shoving the thought away, he tucked on his beanie (he was sporting the color purple today as requested by Akiteru) and walked out his room. 

Before going out to Akiteru’s car he made a quick detour to the kitchen to say goodbye to his mother, the only parent not at work, who gave him three 5,000 yen bills as a parting gift. Kei had refused, saying that he had enough money to spend if he wanted to, but Mother Tsukishima pressed on. 

_“Just in case you see something you really want. Or if anything happens. Do it for your worried mother.”_

Kei felt at cash in his inner coat pocket, alongside with the other random cash he had been keeping in there too. 

_“If anything happens.”_ Whatever that means. 

Hiding his chin from the icy weather, Kei walked up to Akiteru’s car and opened the back door. 

“Do you remember this song, Kei?” Akiteru asked, peeking over his headrest to look at his brother. 

Kei listened for a moment, and immediately recognized the early-2000s ballad-rock tune. “I used to make you play this song on that one video game you had when I was nine or ten,” he answered, setting his luggage upon one of the seats. 

Akiteru waited for Kei to get in the passenger seat before talking again. “Yep! You used to love this song so much. You even learned the lyrics for it,” he laughed while Kei rolled his eyes. 

What Akiteru said was true. He knew most of the lyrics to this day, but he didn’t like the song that much anymore. Nostalgia was not something Kei was keen to, especially when it had to do with family life. If he had listened to the song more he probably still would have loved it considering there were quite a few similar-sounding songs on his everyday playlist, but he had begun to ignore the song once Akiteru entered his first year of high school, and Kei never picked it up since. 

“Got your seatbelt on?” Akiteru asked, giving a final adjustment to his rearview mirror. 

Kei nodded. “Yes. Got your eyes on the road?”

Akiteru chuckled. “You’re never going to let that go, huh?” he replied, setting his car into drive.

“It was a traumatizing experience,” Kei muttered, a hint of teasing nature present in his voice.

“My eyes were dilated and you needed a ride home from volleyball practice because it was raining. You just happened to be on my way home,” Akiteru defended, turning the car onto the street.

“Just saying. You were inches away from killing that poor woman,” Kei pointed out, sighing as he leaned into the comfort of the cushioned seat. His mother’s car had leather seats, this was much better.

Akiteru hummed as the rock song faded out into the next, he switched the station after the song passed. “I didn’t though. Plus, I’m a better driver now. I’ve got lots of experience,” he stated boldly.

Kei glanced at him, raising his headphones over his head. “I’ll believe it when I see it,” he said.

The first half-hour of the drive was chatty on Akiteru’s end. He had always been quite the chatterbox, at least with his friends and more recently around Kei again. Just like with Yamaguchi, Kei enjoyed hearing about his brother’s daily encounters, and he even maneuvered his headphones off his right ear so he could hear Akiteru better when he talked. The only main difference between his interactions with Yamaguchi compared to Akiteru was that Kei had no desire to follow up with his own questions or input. It was not necessarily that he wanted Akiteru to shut up, but that he simply didn’t know what to say besides “Really?” “That’s funny”, and other things in that category. This didn’t seem to bother Akiteru at all, as he kept a lively conversation either way. Maybe it was for his own sake, or maybe he talked for no reason at all.

After a few minutes of quietness on his brother’s end, Kei gave himself permission to fully put on his headphones and raise the volume a little. In a short moment, he was dozing off against the car window, the soft vibration against his temple lulling him to sleep.

Around an hour later Kei was jolted back into the world by his ringtone sounding in his ears. The noise was intense to his half-conscious head, and he quickly pulled his phone from his coat pocket to see who was the culprit of this alarming awakening. 

_Akiteru._

Kei tsked at reading the name then declined the call. He side-eyed Akiteru, stretching his shoulders against the seat as he reached up to slip his headphones off his ears. 

Akiteru glanced at him, sending him a light smirk as he set down his own phone. “Sleep well?”

He winced against the stinging sunlight as they emerged from an overpass. “Until you woke me up,” Kei muttered, raising a curled finger behind his glasses to rub a tired eye.

“Thought we should get something to eat. We entered Tochigi a few minutes ago,” Akiteru informed, lightly tapping his fingers to the beat of the pop-rock music playing softly from the radio.

Kei’s stomach was feeling a bit empty now that he thought about it. Eating would probably be a good idea since they would be on the road for another two hours. “Sure,” he decided.

Already in the timespan he’d been asleep, Kei had received a handful of texts from his teammates and friends. He began to reply to each one as Akiteru spoke.

“I’m feeling like pizza,” he suggested.

Kei kept texting. “Pizza sounds good.”

Akiteru changed lanes. “Okay. Let’s go get some pizza!”  
  


They sat across from each other at a small table near the back of the restaurant, just next to the corner of the dining area. The place was compact and only a couple other tables were filled by a handful of diners.

Kei sat his phone face-up on the table, right after sending off another round of texts, then turned his attention back to his brother, who also had just placed down his phone. Akiteru was quick to set up a conversation.

“So, what’s school like? Is my little bro still keeping his grades up?” he asked, proceeding to set his chin in his fist.

Kei shrugged. “I try to. I wish my teachers wouldn’t go so easy on me all the time,” he added with a snort. “I want to be responsible for how I work.”

Akiteru scoffed, clearly shocked to hear an answer like this. “You kidding? I would have loved it if my teachers did that. I’m surprised I was even able to make it into class five with how much I struggled in school,” he chuckled.

Kei gave an unsure hum. “It feels like cheating. They sometimes give me good grades on stuff I barely try on, even if I didn’t tell them I felt sick when doing the assignment,” he explained, gazing down as he swirled his iced seltzer around in his cup with the straw.

“I suppose so,” Akiteru more-or-less decided. He moved on to a new subject, relieving Kei of the bitter taste that had presented in the last few seconds. “I’m glad I get the chance to hang out with you. It’s been a long time,” he said with a bright smile.

Had it been a long time? Kei could have sworn they’d spent quite a few days together recently. Akiteru must be pretty lonely with his full-time job and school ( _how’d he even manage to get time off in the middle of the week like this_?), so Kei decided not to think much about it. “Me too. It would really suck being in the cheering section by myself,” he replied. Even though he could hang out with Yachi, her preppy and dramatic excitement wasn’t his style. She was a great person, but she wore him out quite easily.

“Saeko would be a fun option if I wasn’t here. She can get a bit crazy though,” Akiteru giggled. “Eh, actually I heard she’s going to be doing her own thing for Karasuno in these upcoming games. Not sure what it is, but apparently it’s going to be awesome.”

Kei wasn’t surprised to hear this. By the first time he met her, he could tell that she was just as crazy and energetic as Ryuu was, even more than him maybe. “It will probably be really good coming from her,” he agreed with a short nod.

Akiteru nodded. “Yeah. I went to school with her, you know? I didn’t see much of her during class, but she was pretty rowdy during-- um.” He choked mid sentence, making it way too obvious that he wanted to beat around the original ending of his sentence. “During--”

Kei acted oblivious, dipping his straw in his drink like it was a soaked tea bag. “What?” he urged. 

All flustered now, Akiteru went back to his smile and gave his bicep a short rub. “Oh, you know, I ended up sitting by her a lot in the cheer section.” Then he laughed, unnaturally so, and he knew Kei could tell, so he kept talking. “It was nice being able to see her again after so long.”

Something deep inside Kei’s chest stung, like he had accidentally inhaled a pinch of curry spice particles. The feeling upset him, but he leaned back into his metal seat, a collected expression planted on his face. He took a sip of his iced seltzer. “I bet it was,” he murmured through the straw between his teeth. 

His stomach rumbled beneath his sweatshirt. Kei placed the cup down and looked up at Akiteru. “Did you end up ordering appetizers?” he asked.

He shook his head. “I figured it would be better to save some extra cash for when we get to Tokyo.”

The tension around them had become strange and confusing, both siblings radiating the same unsettling energy. And just like the other, the two of them bit back on their thoughts and locked them away.

It never seemed like a good time to address past issues. Or any issues for that matter. Maybe that’s why Akiteru talked so much. Maybe that’s why Kei talked so little. 

Akiteru offered him a seemingly random smile; Kei sipped on his drink.   
  
  


For the rest of the time at the restaurant, Akiteru had become unbearably chatty. It overwhelmed Kei, and eventually he just let him talk and talk, returning little to no responses to the things he said. Akiteru started to repeat himself at some point, and that’s when Kei started to zone out. Akiteru soon noticed and let the conversation die out on it’s own. 

Near the end of the meal, Kei told Akiteru the pizza tasted a bit strange. Akiteru agreed and compared it to the school lunches at middle school. Kei agreed, and they laughed. 

When they got back to driving, they ended up switching things up a little. This time Kei was holding the conversation while Akiteru listened and reacted. Of course, it wasn’t long until Kei reached a dead end in his mental “babbling” capacity. Akiteru would do his best to indirectly encourage Kei to talk more, but eventually the attempts lead to them switching back into their usual conversational rolls. 

Despite their differences in social interactions, Kei being quiet and aloof while Akiteru was chatty and apparently cheery, there was one thing that they could relate to. Both were awful at addressing the giant elephants sitting on each other’s shoulders.

They couldn’t discuss it directly at least, but with enough poking and prodding, with enough “light teasing” and barely-off-topic questions, the elephant would barrel off of the person’s shoulder with a loud _Bang!_

The first “elephant provocation” towards Kei was Akiteru getting awkward about talking about his high-school cheering experience. He noticed that Akiteru was a bit-- more than a bit-- off edge since leaving the restaurant as well. God knows why. Maybe he was guilty. It wasn’t like he ever verbally apologized to Kei for lying to him and his family for three years straight.

Every time he had thought Akiteru was over it, or every time he thought that he himself got over it, he would get reminded of the situation and get angry about it. Now he started to question if he really was supposed to get over such a thing like this without it ever being brought out into the open.

It had been silent for a few minutes now, and Kei went back to fully listening to his music while Akiteru focused on the road ahead of him, both leaving themselves to their own thoughts.

Just when Kei was feeling sleepy again, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Sighing, he pulled out his phone and read the text.

**_From Yamaguchi:_ **

_Looks like we’re staying at the Jaybird Inn in Tokyo. It’s a small place but there is still plenty of room if you want to come stay the night!!_

Kei thought about it for a moment. Although it could be a bittersweet thing to agree to, he did miss the atmosphere when surrounded by his teammates until the crack of dawn. Perhaps this was what he needed to cool off before the first game, and probably what his friends needed too. 

He received another text before he had the chance to reply.

**_From Tanaka:_ **

_Wassup Tsukishima!?? Hope u are able to make it tonight. Saeko said she’ll come up a day early to take your brother out for drinks if you end up staying ;)) What do u say???_

Lucky him. This would do great in easing both of their building tensions before the next morning. Quickly, Kei began returning his texts to each of them. 

**_To Yamaguchi:_ **

_I’ll come stay. What time should I head over?_

**_To Tanaka:_ **

_Niisan will probably like that. I will let him know._

Kei heard a murmur beside him, muffled over the sound of the music playing in his ears. Turning down the volume a little, Kei looked over at his brother. “What?”

Akiteru glanced at him, a wary expression painted on his eyes. “You’ve been getting a lot of texts, huh?” he questioned.

Kei looked away for a short moment, then gave a slow shrug. “I guess,” he replied. “There’s not a problem with that, right?” he asked half-genuinely. 

He shook his head, letting out a soft chuckle. “Course not! It’s interesting seeing you get so many texts lately. I feel like we switched spots!” He laughed again.

Deciding to play along, Kei snorted. “Keep your youth behind you, Akiteru,” he mock-advised. “Don’t be mad I have so many friends that like me so much.”

Akiteru tsked, eyes rolling away for a moment before focusing back onto the road. “You little pest. Maybe I will keep my youth behind me so you can be jealous of my steady income,” he teased.

“Speaking of adulthood,” Kei began, picking his phone from his lap, “my teammates want me to stay and visit tonight. I’m going to go.”

Keeping his gaze ahead, Akiteru furrowed his brows as he gave the wheel a quick squeeze. “What does that have to do with adulthood?” he asked.

“Tanaka-- Ryuunosuke-- told me Saeko wanted to get drinks with you tonight when I go stay over,” Kei explained as he lifted his phone to read the excited replies from Yamaguchi and Tanaka.

Akiteru gave an uneasy scoff. “Seriously?” he asked, glancing at Kei.

“Seriously, what?” Kei returned, sending his brother an annoyed frown.

“So you’ll be gone all night?”

“Yeah. It would be nice to be able to hang out with my team like that after a while.”

Elephant provocation two.

Akiteru shook his head in disbelief. “Who’s going to pay for your dinner? Or breakfast?”

Kei squinted at him.

“Never mind,” Akiteru sighed. “That was a dumb thing to ask.”

The music in his headphones began to mix with the light radio music in the background, so Kei pulled his headphones off to clear up his head.

“It was,” Kei replied. “I’ve got enough money for that stuff. I’ll be fine,” he muttered. He looked down as his phone buzzed with a new text.

**_From Yamaguchi:_ **

_Yay!!! Everyone is thrilled to hear you can come *smiling emoji*! Ukai says we’ll be done with practice and looking at film at 8:30, so you can come after that._

“You brought food money?” Akiteru asked. “Did you plan on sleeping elsewhere and forget to tell me or something? I’m just fine paying for our food, you know.” 

In a normal setting, Akiteru would sound genuine and lighthearted. The atmosphere was too rigid for anything like that, so even if what he said was meant to be kind, it didn’t sound that way once it reached the open air.

Kei gave an instant reply. “Mom gave us money before leaving. And _I’m_ going to use it for food if I end up having to,” he said, lazily masking his annoyance with his usual suspicious composure.

Akiteru side-eyed him. “Pretty sure whatever cash Mom gave you isn’t _our_ money,” he mumbled. 

Kei wasn’t sure what to say to that. Akiteru spoke again.

“Whatever,” he breathed. “Go on and have fun with your friends. I’ll make sure not to get in your way.”

Kei shifted in his seat, fixing his eyes on the road ahead. “Thanks. That’s very thoughtful of you.”

No one said anything for a moment, all that could be heard was the munade soft-rock music playing from the radio, the car rolling across the asphalt, and the overly-controlled breathing from each sibling. Kei glanced at the GPS sitting on the windshield. 

One hour left. 

He let out an irritated sigh from within his chest.

Akiteru glanced at him. “What are you still mad about?” 

“A few things, actually.”

“Name one thing.”

“That I have to be in the crowd while my team plays without me.”

“That’s not my problem.”

Elephant provocation three.

Kei’s insides spiked in temperature, a rumbling fire sparking within the back of his throat. “What?” his voice was merely a whisper.

Akiteru reached out to turn off the radio. “Don’t play that with me, Kei. I see what you’re trying to do,” he said all too gracefully. “You’re upset about me bringing up that situation at the pizza place, aren’t you?”

“Maybe I am,” Kei replied matter-of-factly. “Either way, there was definitely no reason for you to reply like that. God, it’s like you’re _trying_ to get rid of me for the night,” he laughed bitterly. 

“Well, it’s not a difficult task to achieve when you’ve removed yourself already. ”

“It’s not that hard to tell your brother you want him to hang out with you instead,” Kei grumbled, giving Akiteru a quick glare.

Akiteru kept his eyes glued to the road. “Gave up on that a while ago.” His grip on the wheel was intense, causing each of his arm muscles and veins to protrude.

Kei clenched his jaw. What in the world was he accusing him of? How utterly ridiculous this was. There was no reason for Akiteru to be the upset one here. 

Akiteru glanced at him. “You gonna say something?”

“No.” A pause. “Are you?”

He inhaled. “....I’m really sorry you can’t play. You deserve it.”

Kei pressed his hands into his thighs. Akiteru continued.

“You could have had the chance to do something I never got to do. It sucks having to experience what I did.”

Akiteru sounded serious. Not like he was manipulating Kei into believing he was a victim of some sort, or that he was trying to save himself from a bad situation that he’d sparked. No, this came from a place of heart, and Kei wasn’t sure what to do with this weird apology. He was still too angered to come up with a reasonable response.

“Could say the same about myself too. I don’t know what you’re trying to prove here,” Kei said.

Akiteru slid his hands down the wheel in an act of defeat or frustration. He didn’t look angry anymore. He looked confused and sad. Now Kei was also confused on top of his irritation.

“I know. You absolutely, one hundred percent had it a lot worse than me. And I’m sorry.”  
  
 _And I’m sorry._

Kei tsked, proceeding to put on his headphones and gaze out the window.  
  


Somehow, Kei had ended up falling asleep again and didn’t wake up until Akiteru gave his shoulder a couple pats, alerting him that they were now arrived at their hotel. Instantly he was reminded of the argument they had before he had slept, the anger he felt, the unsettling calmness as the two of them eventually fell silent.

He had thought that this was the entering into “reflecting time”, when there was no more reason to argue, when each person was finished talking with the other so they could just sit and think. It seemed Akiteru felt the same way, as he also remained quiet when Kei was taking his things out of the backseat. 

However, it was not the end. The odd peace was simply a resting point within the argument. The elephants still remained.

Kei slung his bag over his shoulder. He felt sluggish and weak, and his chest still felt like cement from the rage he was feeling earlier...or still. 

He might fall back asleep as soon as they checked themselves in. It wasn’t like they had any other plans for the day, and if they did, they were surely cancelled by now. 

Being in Tokyo didn’t excite him anymore.

Sighing, Kei squinted in the sun— which had begun falling from its highest point a few hours ago— and stepped away from the car as his brother took out his things. He watched as a crow flew overhead, instantly reminding him on why he was in Tokyo in the first place. 

In a split moment, Kei went from gazing into the sky to being hunched over, a sudden lighting bolt of pain striking his gut. Before he had a chance to stand up straight again, a pair of firm hands clasped onto the sides of his shoulders. The action had caused his nerves to spike again, and Kei jerked himself out of Akiteru’s grip.

Akiteru stumbled back, hands snapping away from Kei’s body. “Geez, my bad,” he breathed out.

Kei straightened himself out, the sharp pain returning to a dull cramp. He could feel himself scowling now, and he didn’t even care to hide it. “Yeah. I don’t need you worrying about me all of a sudden,” he muttered, beginning to walk towards the entrance of the hotel building.

Elephant provocation four. 

“How do you expect me not to worry about you, Kei?” he demanded.

Kei stopped walking and turned to face him. “Because you're a difficult person, Akiteru! You say passive-aggressive things and then you wave it off with no explanation,” he was borderline shouting. “It’s hard to believe you’re being sincere when all you’ve been doing is treating me like a threat all day.”

“How could you say that?” He took a step towards him. “Maybe I’m sick of being put second to all your friends— which by the way, you barely hung out with them before all of this craziness happened— and I have to sit at home hoping you’re doing fine without me. It wouldn’t hurt to think about someone else for once!”

Kei’s fingers curled tightly in his coat pockets. “Are you brain-dead?” he growled. “We barely hung out before all of this, why are you acting like I’m leaving you on purpose? You rarely made an effort before, so don’t get mad at me for forgetting about you when you suddenly felt like being my brother again!” He began to turn his shoulder on him, but the action was quickly pulled back by Akiteru’s hand.

Akiteru’s face was a deep shade of pink, eyes desperate and glossy. The sight made him want to turn away, but he didn’t. Kei glared back at him.

“I’ve been trying to be your brother for the past four years, Kei!” Akiteru’s voice was loud, and Kei couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard this volume from him. He sucked in a shuddering breath before continuing. “Do you understand how much it _hurts_ to not be able to be there for you during all of this?”

Kei’s lip trembled angrily as a spike of heat overcame his nerves. Akiteru was still gripping tightly onto his shoulder. “Well,” Kei began, tone contrastingly soft against his brother’s, “you can start being my brother by letting me see my friends in peace.” Kei shrugged his shoulder. “Let me go.”

Akiteru dropped his hand.

Kei turned to face the building again, voice returning to its overly-calm nature. “And stop resenting me for the extra concern I get from people. I’d do anything to go back to how I was three months ago, so just shut up.”

Akiteru sniffed, it sounded like he was crying. Kei kept walking.  
  


Just like he had thought, Kei fell asleep right after getting into the room and sending a few texts. Of course, going to sleep angry rendered him exhausted and tense when he woke up. Akiteru wasn’t in the room when he awoke, and instead left him with a text that had been delivered thirty minutes ago.

_Went for a drive. Go see your team when you can._

_Have dinner please._

Kei shut off his phone, feeling every single negative emotion hit him at once. The overwhelming emotions made him feel sick. 

_Have dinner please._

Dinner. He really did not want to eat. His stomach was fine now, but his appetite was completely gone. However, getting some food in him would probably be a good way to relax a little before heading off to see his friends. 

After switching out his beanie to black, Kei grabbed his bag and belongings, readying himself to leave for the night. Before exiting, Kei stopped by the second bed and reached inside his coat. 

He dropped two 5,000 yen bills on the edge of the mattress and left. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I have to say is.... SORRY.


End file.
